how to write a grooms wedding speech

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How to Write The Perfect Groom’s Speech (With Examples)

Author: Hollie Bond

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How to Write a Grooms Speech

Funny groom's speech ideas, emotional groom's speech ideas, unusual groom's speech ideas, famous groom's speech ideas.

No idea where to start when it comes to making a speech on your big day? We’ve compiled all the best tips and inspiration to help you write and deliver the best groom’s speech ever.

The groom’s speech is always a highlight at a wedding. It’s a chance for guests to hear all the romantic and heartfelt sentiments that you, as a newlywed, will be experiencing.

It’s also a feel-good part of the day where you get to acknowledge all your guests and thank individuals who have helped you bring this special day together. Everyone in the ‘audience’ will be friends and family, so put any public speaking nerves aside, as everyone will be willing you on to do your best and if you stumble over your words or well up when you’re talking about your new wife or husband – well, they’ll just love you even more!

We’ve rounded up 40 of the best groom’s speech ideas, with inspiration for funny, emotional, and unusual speeches, plus examples from famous grooms, to help you write your own Oscar-worthy speech.

What should the groom say in his speech?

Good news! The groom’s speech is one of the easiest speeches to write and deliver as it is essentially just one big thank you.

A groom’s speech should focus on thanking everyone who has helped make the wedding day special including the mother and father of the bride (or equivalent), the guests, his own parents, the best man, the bridesmaids, ushers, and anyone else who has contributed to the wedding.

The other main focus of the groom’s speech is to lavish praise and compliments on his new wife (or groom) and to tell them how happy he is to be married. Finally, the groom should raise a toast to his new wife or husband.

How long should a groom’s speech be?

Any speech at a wedding, including the groom’s speech, should be no longer than ten minutes. When written down this is approximately 1500 words, but make sure to time yourself before the big day in case you’re a particularly slow or fast speaker.

Ten minutes is the ideal length to get across everything you need to say, but not so long that your guests get bored and start to fidget. If you’re not a confident speaker you can always just say a few lines lasting a couple of minutes.

Less is definitely more when it comes to speeches. That said, if it’s too short you could sound flippant! Anywhere between five and ten minutes and you’re in safe territory.

1. Don’t be too formal

Unless you’re known for your love of a bit of pomp and circumstance then you don’t suddenly have to become the master of all things etiquette and stuffy speech-making just because it’s your wedding day. Your guests will want to hear you speak in your usual way, and as long as you cover the expected formalities like thanking everyone for coming, both sets of parents, the bridal party, and anyone who went above and beyond to help you with something like making a cake, then you don’t have to worry about anything else.

2. Focus on the start

If you can get guests smiling from the very beginning of the speech, then both you and your guests will feel relaxed and enjoy the rest of it. Have a think about something humorous that specifically relates to your guests or wedding situation rather than an obvious/ heard-100-times-before gag. Perhaps you’re known for your non-stop chatter, so you could open with “I know you’re all thinking you should take a loo break before I start talking, but I promise I’ll keep this as short (as I can!)…”

3. Don’t forget the main purpose of the speech

A romantic and heartfelt ode to the person you’ve just married should be the main focus of this speech. Try to avoid just saying empty words that anyone could say like “she/he is wonderful, beautiful, kind” etc. Think of specific things that your other half has done that makes you proud/ really love them/ that makes them unique. Anecdotes and stories that highlight a personal trait are the best way to do this.

4. Be romantic, not cheesy

Try not to fall into the trap of sounding like a compilation of all the lines you might find inside a cheesy Valentine’s Day card. Instead of “I’m so lucky to have found you” think about “My parents always told me nothing good would come of always being late, but I’m so glad to say I proved them wrong. I missed my train (as usual) that fateful day and the best thing ever came out of it… you.” Or a simple list of all the things that you particularly love about your partner, from the way they constantly fiddle with their hair to the way they talk to your dog like it’s a human.

5. Don’t give out gifts

This isn’t prize-giving at school and giving out weddinggifts to bridesmaids and ushers etc. will just take up valuable partying time. Give your bridal party their gifts in the morning when you’re all getting ready as it’ll be more personal in private.

6. Think about timing

A speech around the 7 – 10 minutes mark is considered the perfect amount of time for a groom’s speech (written down that’s about 1200 – 1400 words). Any less and you’ll sound a bit flippant. Any more and guests will start getting bored.

7. Don’t go into massive amounts of detail

We all know someone that tells a story as intricate and descriptive as a Tolstoy novel and how we automatically glaze over as soon as they start speaking. Don’t be that person. Your guests don’t want War and Peace – they want a nice easy to listen to a speech that doesn’t mentally challenge them, especially once they’re a few drinks down.

8. Find the perfect quote

If you’re not a wordsmith, let someone else more qualified sum up your feelings for you. There are plenty of amazing quotes from authors and famous orators out there and one or two of them may be exactly what you need to succinctly put all your feelings about the day and your partner into one neat sentence. Just make sure to acknowledge the original author!

9. Give your partner a promise

A lovely way to be funny and also heartfelt at the same time is to make a promise or two to your partner in front of your guests. Don’t just repeat your vows here, promise something that is unique to her/him. Perhaps she’s an avid rock climber and you’re more of a couch potato? Promise you’ll learn to love her crazy hobby. Maybe you’re not exactly Heston Blumenthal in the kitchen? Promise you’ll learn to cook your partner more than beans on burnt toast. Perhaps she/he is the world’s greatest Swiftie. Promise you’ll learn the lyrics to all their favourite Taylor Swift songs… you get the idea.

10. Prepare the delivery

The biggest mistake you can make is to write a great speech on paper and then not read it out loud before the big day. You need to practice talking slowly and confidently and leaving little pauses after funny bits (for any of the slower guests to get it!). Also, some written sentences don’t sound great when spoken, so reading out loud will help you to iron out any clunky syntax. Plus, you’ll want to know the speech almost by heart so that you don’t have your head in a piece of paper reading word-for-word on the day. Eye contact with your guests is one of the most important parts of delivering a successful speech.

You don’t have to be the next Michael McIntyre, but giving your guests a giggle and making them smile is the quickest way to make both them and you feel at ease with the speech.

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have to pepper your speech with gags and silly one-liners to make it funny. Instead, just focus on things that are unique to you as a couple or for the audience (perhaps the region you’re from for example) and have a bit of fun at your/ their expense. Be careful not to reference something that only a few members of the audience will understand as that will very quickly alienate your other guests.

Here are ten funny speech ideas to take inspiration from:

Focus on your differences

Comparing your differences can be an easy way to make the guests smile. Are you obsessively tidy and your new partner a bit of a slob perhaps? Can you cook like a pro while they can’t even heat soup without burning the place down? Whatever your differences, exaggerate them and make a joke out of them to get guests giggling.

Tell the crowd something they don’t know

Do you know some funny things about your bride/groom’s past that others in the audience might not? Now’s a good time to reveal that she/he did some hilarious hobbies or geeky things as a child. Perhaps they have a funny secret crush or can do a really odd trick.

Exaggerate your weaknesses

Putting yourself down and acknowledging something everyone knows about you can be a good way to make guests smile. E.g. “Would you believe it? The bride/ groom has finally given up holding out for Ryan Gosling and decided a bald, beer-swilling Insurance Broker from Newcastle is a better option instead.”

Here’s a good example of a funny, self-deprecating groom’s speech:

Make a joke about the wedding itself

“Before I begin, please can we ensure that all the aisles and fire exits are kept clear throughout the reception. There’s a medical team waiting outside the building and I’d like them to have a clear run when my in-laws are presented with the final bill.”

“I’d like to thank Mastercard and Visa, without whom this would never have been possible. My wife and I will be forever in their debt.”

Mother-in-law jokes

These always go down well if you actually get on with her! Reference something unique to your mother in law like her shopping obsession or how long she takes to get ready perhaps. Or keep it classic with: “I’ve been told that this is usually one of the only times in a man’s life when he can be around his wife/husband and mother-in-law and not be interrupted – so hang in there, I’m going to take full advantage.”

“In [in-law’s names], I have found the perfect in-laws. I always cringe when I hear jokes about difficult mothers-in-law because my own experience has been far from that stereotype. [Turn to in-laws and whisper audibly] Did I read that right? Please don’t hurt me…”

Tell a story

If your first date, engagement or the time you asked the in-laws if you could marry their daughter/ son has a funny element to it, go ahead and tell the story. Just remember not to kill the humour with too many details.

Talk about your partner’s quirks

Does your wife/ husband have any weird habits? Divulge a few to the guests but make it romantic by saying how much you love her/him even though they… still get drunk after one glass of wine/ still go to bed with a teddy bear at the age of 33/ always get the words to songs wrong/ always have to be the last person on the dance floor even when the lights come up…

Make the thank yous funny

Instead of a boring list of thank yous, try and inject a bit of fun. For example: “I’d like to thank my mother in law for passing on such wonderful traits to her daughter; her kindness, her humour, though unfortunately, an unwavering support for Arsenal has also slipped down the genetic line.”

Trip the guests up

Everyone expects the first line of the groom’s speech to mention his new wife/ husband. Momentarily confuse them with a sentence like this: “My ex-girlfriend/ boyfriend and I would like to thank you all for coming today” – and then pause while they work it out and laugh.

Use props or videos

If there’s a funny prop or a video that you can show during the speech go for it, plus holding something or giving yourself a break in video form can help stop the nerves.

Leave guests guessing

It’s fine to reference the stag do , but don’t tell a long and boring story about something that happened while you were on it. That’ll only be funny to the stags. It’s best to mention something and leave the end of the story untold as a cliff-hanger so that guests can fill in the blanks with all manner of funny thoughts.

As a groom, you have free reign to get emotional and if you’re not normally an emotional person it will really surprise and delight guests as they will realise just how much the day and marrying your loved one means to you.

You don’t want to get too over the top though and make your guests feel uncomfortable. Keep the really mushy stuff for your bride or groom on your honeymoon and instead focus on the sort of emotional sentiments that will make guests smile.

Here are some ideas for how to make your groom’s speech just the right amount of emotional:

Look guests in the eye

The quickest way to get guests to buy into what you’re saying and to feel the raw emotion of your words is by looking them in the eyes as you deliver each sentence. If you’ve had a difficult time in the run-up to the wedding and are really grateful for the support they’ve all shown, say so while looking sincerely at the guests you really want to show your gratitude to.

Put your heart into the thank yous

If you don’t want to make the thank yous funny or witty, how about making them emotional by not just thanking the person for what they did, but by explaining how much it meant to you.

Mention absent friends

If a member of your family or a friend isn’t at your wedding and is greatly missed then make sure to raise a toast to their memory. You don’t want to be morbid, but a few words about how much the person/ people meant to you both and how much you miss them, followed by inviting all guests to raise a toast to them is a lovely emotional gesture.

Let yourself feel the emotion

If you feel yourself welling up don’t stop the emotion – guests won’t mind if your voice breaks a bit or if you have to take a deep breath. In fact, it just shows how much the words actually mean to you.

Be creative when it comes to describing your partner

If you want to inject emotion into your speech, don’t just say sentences that could describe any bride/ groom. Think specifically about your partner and be poetic when you talk about them and it will be much more sincere than just saying: “My new wide is beautiful” or “My husband is kind”. Here’s a lovely example from a groom’s speech about how to reference your new spouse:

Want to make sure your speech is unforgettable? Make it unusual and unique with some of these stand-out suggestions…

Rap the speech

Got a hidden talent for rapping (or if you don’t it can still be hilarious), then why not attempt to rap the speech instead. You could do part of it normally, before breaking out into a fun rap perhaps.

Sing the speech

Got a good set of pipes on you? How about singing your speech instead? Choose a famous song and then write personalised lyrics to fit. You can make it funny or heartfelt – whatever suits your personality best. Having the words on PowerPoint beside you can help in case some guests miss the words.

Write your speech on blackboards around the room

If the idea of public speaking really is too much for you and threatens to ruin your whole wedding day, why not write it up on blackboards that can be displayed around the venue for guests to read instead. You could even pre-record a video of you reading the speech too. Guests who know and love you will appreciate the effort and know how stressful making a speech in person would be for you.

Speak in a different language

Are you marrying someone who is originally from another country and has another language that you don’t speak? Impress both your new wife or husband and especially their family members who make not speak your language by learning some lines in secret in their language. Starting the speech in English for example before changing seamlessly into French will wow your audience and be very emotional for your new partner.

Get other people to do it for you

Track down important guests who can’t make it to the wedding or some famous people if you can and ask them to say something special that you can record and play as part of the speech.

Borrow the words

If you don’t want to make a traditional groom’s speech, how about performing a poem or reading out the lyrics to a song that means a lot to you as a couple (just don’t make it as awkward as Pam and Mick’s rendition in Gavin & Stacey!)

Write a story

Why not make your groom’s speech sound like the start of a novel or children’s story in a ‘once upon a time’ format, but insert yourself and your new spouse as the main characters. After all, your wedding is part of your love story and you can end your speech with a toast to your happily ever after.

Get your guests involved

Don’t like the idea of all eyes being on you? Surprise your wife/ husband by prepping guests beforehand to each say a sentence. Or you can encourage audience participation by turning your speech into a quiz about you as a couple/ the wedding day.

Perform a musical mash-up

Make it themed.

If your bride or groom has a love for something specific, theme your entire speech around it. Take these maids of honour who did a Disney medley as an example:

Tom Fletcher from band McFly did one of the most famous and unusual groom’s speeches of all time. If you can hold a tune why not replicate his speech with your own song…

Nick Jonas went down the heartfelt route for his groom’s speech at his wedding to Priyanka Chopra in 2018 and nailed the thank you to his new mother in law.

Mark Wright from TOWIE gave way to the tears when talking about new wife Michelle Keegan at their wedding: “Not only are you beautiful, but you are one of the most incredible people I have ever met. You truly are sensational in every single way.” Take inspiration from his touching way to be emotional without making everyone feel awkward.

Not a groom’s speech, but you could definitely steal the idea from the best man speech of Danny McKenzie at footballer Jamie Milligan’s wedding – he pretended he had forgotten the speech and then played a video that “showed” him racing through fields and various places James Bond-style to retrieve it…

Hollie Bond

Hollie is a lifestyle journalist with over ten years’ experience working in the wedding industry as Lifestyle Editor for You & Your Wedding magazine Also a Regional Editor for Muddy Stilettos, Hollie has written for Square Meal magazine, Family History Monthly, BBC History magazine and Homes & Antiques. In her spare time you can find Hollie in a dance studio practising ballet…

Learn more about Hollie Bond

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  • Who Gives a Speech at a Wedding Reception? How to Write a Wedding Toast Tips for the Father of the Bride Speech How to Write a Best Man Toast Advice for the Maid of Honor Speech What to Know About a Newlywed Toast Public Speaking Experts' Wedding Speech Tips 60 Quotes to Use for Your Wedding Toast

Public Speaking Experts Share Their Top Tips for Giving an Amazing Wedding Speech

Check out their best examples and advice to learn how to knock it out of the park.

how to write a grooms wedding speech

Photo by Kurt Boomer

In This Article

Most people would agree that public speaking isn't easy, and this is especially true when you're feeling the added pressure that comes along with giving a speech at a loved one's wedding. Not only do you have the attention of dozens (if not hundreds!) of guests you probably don't know, but you're also trying to appeal to a group of people in a wide range of ages from all different phases of the couple's lives. What's more, you want your speech to delight the couple of the hour and be as appealing to your group of friends as it to the newlyweds' grandparents. All in all, it's a tough task.

Before you panic, know that we're here to help. Ahead, we're sharing a comprehensive guide on what you should include in your speech , how to nail your delivery, and questions to consider to get the brainstorming process started—all from noteworthy speakers, well-established speechwriters, and wedding planners (who have seen it all).

Wedding Speech Template

Every great wedding speech has one thing in common: the right flow. Factor in these guidelines to help you find your own organic rhythm.

Open With a Statement or Question

Don't lead with a joke or a reference to how nervous you are. "The goal is to engage your audience, not make it a boring one-way message," says award-winning motivational speaker Jaime Pfeffer . "You'll lose them if you do this."

Introduce Yourself

After your opener, introduce yourself, says Fallon Carter , a wedding planner, even designer, and professional speaker. "A lot of times, people don't know who is speaking, and they don't know their relationship to the bride or the groom," she says. "It's really important to identify yourself, so make sure you've prepared something."

Address Your Audience

As speaker and life strategy coach Mark Black, CSP , points out, focusing on yourself only enhances nerves. "Instead, concentrate on your audience and how you want them to feel. This will help you to speak from the heart, allowing your speech to do what it's supposed to do: Make the couple feel special while also engaging the audience."

Focus on a Few Points

Seasoned speaker Susan Bender Phelps, CEO of Odyssey Mentoring & Leadership , says her top guideline is to select one to three aspects of the newlyweds that you love and appreciate, along with no more than three short stories to illustrate each of these points (or that one point). "The simple, succinct story or stories where the bride and groom are the hero will work best." This is an excellent way to structure your speech and keep your message focused.

How Long Wedding Speeches Should Be

The ideal length for a speech is three to five minutes, with five minutes being the absolute maximum you should speak for. That's it. "I’ve never been to a wedding where anyone said, 'That was a great wedding, but the best man speech was just too short and that  ruined  it,'" says David Litt , the speechwriter for former President Barack Obama and author of Thanks, Obama .

Carter agrees: "I always say anywhere between two and five minutes—and no more than five minutes," she says. "You want to keep things short and sweet." It's just as important to keep in mind when the speech will take place when determining length, since toasts are often timed with meal courses: "Be mindful of how long a course generally takes or how long it takes people to eat," Carter adds, noting that most courses last between 15 and 20 minutes and that several speeches have to fit inside each window. "If there are other people speaking, you want to be mindful and give them space."

Wedding Speech Tips

Now that you've established the right framework for your words, take note of these essential tips for acing the delivery from a few speaking pros.

Rehearse Regularly

The better prepared you are, the more confident you'll be and the better your speech will be, says author and professional speaker Barry Maher . A good rule of thumb is to practice the speech enough that you can remember the points you want to make and the order in which you want to make them. That way, you can look out to the crowd and make eye contact every so often.

Record Yourself Practicing

Use your phone to take a video of yourself practicing, suggests Kate Kenfield , speaker and sex educator. "It can be a little uncomfortable to watch yourself, but you'll be able to identify distracting mannerisms, such as the verbal pauses 'um,' 'uh,' and 'like'." It's also a good idea to practice your speech in front of someone else. "A second opinion can help you craft your piece and make it that much stronger," she says.

Don't forget body language! Rehearse the speech in front of a mirror and notice things like your facial expression, eye contact, and hand position.

Avoid Alcohol

Although it may be tempting to look for some liquid courage, alcohol definitely won't do you any favors, warns keynote speaker Amy Morin , author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do . "It may cause you to slur your speech and forget your lines, so wait until after your toast to celebrate," she advises. If you need a drink to loosen up the nerves or can't refrain from participating in a toast without being rude, stick to one glass of Champagne before you address the crowd.

Use Nerves to Your Advantage

A little nervousness can actually liven up your speech. "I get worried if I'm not a little nervous," says Maher. "I'll actually try to make myself a little tense to get my energy level up." The key is to harness that energy and communicate it in a positive, genuine way; tensing up to the point that you forget your words or panic won't make for a great presentation.

Be Yourself

Keep in mind that you're not putting on a show, only sharing your personal perspective. Trying too hard to force the funny can yield the opposite of the desired effect, cautions Matt Dalley, co-founder of Simply Eloped . "I've noticed that keeping it short and sweet, heartfelt and warm, and coming across as authentic and focused on the couple is something we are all capable of and generates some very wonderful moments," he says.

Never Embarrass the Newlyweds

It's a wedding toast, not a roast. While this should go without saying, keep the bachelor or bachelorette party jokes out of it, and remember that grandma and possibly a few colleagues are in the audience, notes Laurie Battaglia , a keynote speaker and workplace strategist. "It's okay to look back at childhood and refer to something funny, but ask yourself if you'd like 200-plus of your closest friends knowing that story about you."

Use Your Notes

Reading your speech straight from a piece of paper is a big no-no. However, having a couple of note cards handy is encouraged. "You're likely to be nervous, excited, and exhausted, which can make you forget your lines," explains Morin. "The audience won't care if you glance at your notes. In fact, there's a good chance they won't even notice."

Wedding Speech Brainstorm Ideas

Need some inspiration? Ask yourself these questions to get the brainstorming process going.

  • Who will speak before you? After you? How will this affect the content of your toast? (Perhaps you want to include a reference to their speech, thank them for an introduction, or introduce the next speaker).
  • Is there someone you should thank for making the event possible and inviting you to speak?
  • What would you want to hear in this speech if you were in the audience?
  • Is there a favorite story or memory that the couple would want you to share with their friends and family?

Wedding Speech Examples to Make Your Own

So, what does it look like when all these elements come together? Wedding vow and speechwriter Katelyn Peterson , owner and creator of Wedding Words , offered us three examples of successful toasts to inspire your own.

Maid of Honor Wedding Speech Example

"Hi, I’m Maya, the bride’s older sister . With Lucy being three years younger, we fell right into our respective roles as sister-rivals growing up. We constantly fought over stolen clothes, monopolizing the phone back when landlines were a thing, and what boy band to blare from the car speakers. I’m still Team Backstreet Boys while Lucy is forever indebted to NSYNC.

Looking back on those memories, I should have stepped up and granted Lucy permission to wear my favorite sweater for picture day, to hand her the phone once in a while, and to let her play, 'Bye Bye Bye.' Even I can admit that’s a good one. But despite Lucy being the younger sister, she has always been more patient, more accommodating, and more thoughtful than me. And that’s because when it comes to the people she loves, she’s all in.

She’s the one to prioritize their desires. She’s the one to compromise first. And, she’s the one to support their dreams as if they were her own. 

This is why it makes me so happy to know that Lucy has found a home in David. He matches her in compassion, thoughtfulness, and warmth. And I know he’ll spend his life prioritizing her desires, being ready to compromise, and supporting her dreams as his own.

Cheers to Lucy and David! May you always feel loved because you always put each other first."

Best Man Wedding Speech Example

"Hello, everyone. My name is Luke and I’m the best man . I met Robert eight years ago when I became his neighbor. His reputation preceded him as I had heard about the 'Block Party King' before my closing papers were inked. 

Rob has never been the guy to wear fancy clothes. In fact, I’m still in shock seeing him in that tux tonight. And he’s never been the guy to show off even though the work he’s put into his vintage Mustang could make Henry Ford himself envious.

But when it comes to cooking, he should receive an award. His pulled pork is a staple at our summer block parties and his homemade barbeque sauce has remained our neighborhood’s best-kept secret. But the most satisfying part about his delicious dishes is that there’s always plenty to go around. And Rob makes sure your plate is never empty. I have no idea how he pulls it off, but Rob has a covert ability to scoop seconds onto your plate without you ever seeing him do it. I hope you all came hungry tonight, folks. You’ve been warned! 

The first time I met Jasmine I could immediately tell she was an amazing person. She laughed at his jokes which I never thought anyone would get. She supported his career and the nonstop travel involved. But most importantly, whenever we’re all hanging out, Jasmine is the one always topping off Rob’s plate with more pasta, more chicken, more of everything. When she’s around, it’s never empty. 

And that’s when I saw what a perfect match they were for each other. I know they will always put each other first, make sure their needs are met, and will never allow the other to go hungry.

So let’s raise our glasses to toast the newlyweds! As you begin this next chapter together, may your plates and your hearts always remain full."

Father of the Bride Wedding Speech Example

"Good evening, family, and friends. I’m Daniel Lee, the father of the bride. I’d like to welcome you to this special occasion where we get to celebrate the love between my daughter Allison and her new wife, Kristin. 

Standing up here today, I’m reminded of all the moments that led to this significant one. The dance recitals that ended with standing ovations and the soccer games that concluded with winning scoreboards. 

But, while those were fun and rewarding times, those aren’t the moments I cherish most with Allison. The memories that make me smile the brightest are those in-between the big stuff moments. It’s the makeshift magic shows in our living room using a bedsheet that Allison confiscated from our linen closet to convert into a curtain. It’s the countless tea parties she hosted with exclusive invitations just for me and her beloved stuffed bear, Buttons. And it’s the way she’d beg to stay up for just five more minutes but was asleep on the couch by minute number two.

Those everyday, blink-and-you’ll-miss-them moments with Allison are the ones that gave color to my life and filled my heart with a happiness I never knew could exist.

So, my beautiful daughter, as you begin your life with Kristin today, I have one wish for you: May your warmest memories come from the ordinary moments throughout your marriage, and may those moments give you a reason to smile brighter every day. Cheers! I love you both." —Daniel

What Not to Say in a Wedding Speech

Your job when delivering a wedding speech is to keep things light—tell an anecdote, make an emotional connection, then wish the couple well before you close out. Anything that doesn't feel definitively positive should be avoided. "I would advocate against bringing up negative details, specifically past relationships or past spouses," says Carter. "Skip anything that you wouldn't want to be physically recorded and played over and over again—this is a rule of thumb."

Keep it light, delicate, and present- and future-focused, Carter adds. "If you're going to go into the past, make those stories really intentional," she says. "Bring those stories back to who they are now. Your mission is to create a great environment and vibe and to potentially give some information about one of the newlyweds, so that it's enlightening for all guests."

A Guide to Wedding Reception Toasts

Who Gives a Speech at a Wedding Reception?

How to Write a Wedding Toast

Tips for the Father of the Bride Speech

How to Write a Best Man Toast

Advice for the Maid of Honor Speech

What to Know About a Newlywed Toast

Public Speaking Experts' Wedding Speech Tips

60 Quotes to Use for Your Wedding Toast

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Mother-of-the-Bride Speech Examples and Writing Tips

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how to write a grooms wedding speech

The Ultimate Groom's Wedding Speech Checklist

Don't leave anyone or anything important off your list of thank yous.

how to write a grooms wedding speech

The groom's wedding speech is often about covering all bases. It doesn't have the bravado and general LOLs of a best man speech , the gushing and poignant words of a bridesmaid speech, or all the nostalgia and tear-jerking words of a father of the bride or groom speech. Instead, a groom's speech is half admin, half emotion; kind of like an Oscar acceptance! A chance to shout out the wedding party, thank the ushers, and tell your new in-laws how chuffed you are to be part of the family. To help you write your speech - and to make sure you don't leave anyone out - we've put together a handy groom's wedding speech checklist . You'll thank us later!

Best man speech cheers initials champagne prosecco

A groom doing a speech solo is more common, but we've also seen lots of couples do their thank you speech together , as well as brides making speeches too ( more ladies on the mic please !). Our list covers all bases and standard family structures, but tweak it as is appropriate for you. Hopefully it comes in handy whatever kind of wedding thank you speech you're making.

how to write a grooms wedding speech

Groom's Wedding Speech Checklist

(In no particular order, but this order makes for a nice crescendo!)

  • Thank the guests for coming - give a special shout out to anyone who's come a long way
  • Thank any staff or suppliers who worked on the day - only those present
  • Thank the celebrant - if present
  • Thank anyone who helped in the lead up to the day (outside of the wedding party and immediate family) - any one who gave lifts, stitched bunting, glued centrepieces, etc.
  • Thank anyone who took part in the day itself - ceremony readings , music, wedding cake baker, etc
  • Mention your new parents in law and siblings - this is a good time to tell them how happy you are to join the family, how welcome/terrified they made you feel, how you promise to be there for their son or daughter/brother or sister.
  • Mention your siblings  - be specific about things they helped you with or special memories. This is also a good time to mention any other special family members, grandparents, step-parents, etc.
  • Mention your parents - if both your parents are present, thank them both individually, usually an anecdote about the kind of person they've taught you to be goes down well.
  • Thank your wedding party - make sure both sides get a mention, though it's fine to gush a bit harder about your best man!
  • Thank your other half - for marrying you, for looking fabulous, for being wonderful, and all the other good things you can think of. Remember to tell them all about why you love them and why you can't wait to get started with married life!

how to write a grooms wedding speech

Need more help with your wedding speeches - we've got you covered!

  • 30 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
  • How to Begin a Wedding Speech: Great Opening Lines
  • The Correct Order of Speeches at a Wedding?
  • 9 Ways to Shake Up Your Wedding Speeches
  • How to Give a Flawless Best Man Speech
  • Everything You Need To Play Wedding Speech Bingo

Listen & Subscribe to The One Fab Day Wedding Podcast

Episode 22: wedding speeches 101.

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You can listen to the One Fab Day Wedding Podcast wherever you get your podcasts , and search them on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

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How to Write—And Deliver—The Perfect Wedding Speech

By Shelby Wax

How to Write a Perfect Wedding Speech

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If one of your nearest and dearest is tying the knot, it’s possible you may be asked to give a speech during the wedding festivities. And while having an opportunity to share your love and memories at a major milestone event is an honor, there’s no denying that it’s a big ask—especially if public speaking isn’t your forté. A wedding speech presents a unique challenge: There’s no set formula for how the speech should play out, but it often requires sentimentality, a touch of humor, and the good sense to know when to wrap it up.

Are you a member of the wedding party that wants to (or has been asked to) give a toast at an upcoming celebration? Read ahead to learn how to write and prepare for your big moment.

Who Gives a Wedding Speech?

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First off, it’s important to make sure that the couple definitely wants you to give a toast at their celebrations. Traditionally, the maid of honor, best man, and parents of the couple will give a speech at the wedding. However, the couple should explicitly ask these guests well in advance to give a speech so they have plenty of time to prepare. They may also choose additional wedding party members to give toasts at the reception or pre-wedding parties; but if the couple has not asked you to give a speech, do not prepare one. Speeches are carefully placed into a wedding timeline so the day will stay on schedule, and an additional five minutes could cut into strategically timed moments of the celebration.

The to-be-weds also have the right to curate the day as they wish, and occasionally at a rehearsal dinner or welcome party, the couple may open the floor to additional toasts. But if this doesn’t happen, grabbing the mic unexpectedly for an off-the-cuff speech (especially after a few glasses of wine) will not be appreciated.

How to Write a Wedding Speech

How to Write a Perfect Wedding Speech

If you are asked to give a toast, it’s important that you don’t just wing it. “First, recognize that speechwriting is a creative process,” shares Allison Shapira, founder and CEO of Global Public Speaking . “Give yourself plenty of time to be creative (i.e. not the night before, when you already have so much to stress about). Wait for your most creative time of the day, and turn off any distractions. Spend some unrushed time thinking about your relationship to the couple, and what you’d like to say.”

While there’s no exact template to follow, there is a good basic formula to adhere to. “The framework I recommend for a wedding speech is: story, message, blessing,” she shares. “Tell a heartwarming story, share the message or value behind that story, and then offer a blessing or wish for the couple based on that message.”

“Typically, we advise our speakers to try to bring the audience on a journey where you initially try to make them laugh, then get to the real depth of the speech and earn some tears, then bring the whole speech full circle with a deep insight or story about the couple that ends with a funny final punch,” shares Steven Greitzer, CEO and founder of Provenance , an AI company that specializes in helping write personalized wedding vows, ceremonies, and toasts. “It’s important to have a good balance of humor and sentimentality because, if it’s a full roast, it can feel like you’re just doing a standup comedy show for your own benefit and it could lack substance. Or, if it’s too overly emotional, it can get heavy and perhaps a bit too somber for a wedding celebration.”

When choosing a story, Shapira recommends reading the room. “It should obviously be good-natured, without making anyone look bad. And, it all depends on the family dynamics,” she says. “What one family considers good-natured, another family could consider scathing. Choose someone in the audience whom you think could give you some helpful feedback, and practice the speech with them in advance.”

How to Write a Perfect Wedding Speech

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Greitzer adds that it's important that both members of the couple are highlighted in the speech. “Great anecdotes showcase who each person was before meeting, their synergy together, and their individual and collective growth,” he shares. If you don’t know one member of the couple very well, don’t be afraid to get creative. “One of the best speeches I’ve seen was from a bridesmaid who hadn’t really been able to spend too much time with her best friend’s fiance because of the pandemic,” Greitzer shares. “She creatively read texts she found in her phone that gave her a hilarious timeline of her friend falling in love.”

If you’re still not sure where to begin, consider giving an AI platform a try to help you form your toast. “The Provenance tools guide speakers to create unique, and personal ceremonies, vows, and toasts without the stress. It’s a partner in your brainstorming process; a way to help you verbalize what you were trying to say—but faster,” explains Greitzer. “Instead of being some outdated, mad-libs-style template, the expert-curated prompts inspire special stories and insights, ultimately weaving your responses together into a custom, editable first draft.”

A final writing tip from Shapira? “I definitely recommend creating an outline but do not recommend writing the speech out word for word. When we script the entire speech, it sounds too formal,” says the public speaking expert. “I recommend first brainstorming the content, rearranging it into a logical structure, then drafting a general outline which you can bring with you to the event. While it may look better to simply give the speech ‘from the heart,’ the stress involved in trying to memorize your speech is simply not worth it.”

How to Deliver a Wedding Speech

Writing a wedding speech is half the battle—next comes your performance. It’s important that your toast has a good flow, feels natural, and doesn’t drag on. Here’s where the idiom “practice makes perfect” rings true. Shapira advises giving yourself a few weeks of rehearsal to make your speech feel authentic and fluid. Her recommendations? “Read your speech out loud and make sure it stays within the time you have allotted. Read it to someone else and get their feedback. Record it and watch it back. We use a tool called AMPLIFY to get AI-based feedback.” She adds, “Don’t memorize the speech, but do read it out loud and make sure it sounds like your voice.”

The ideal length of a toast is between two to four minutes, which translates to around 500 to 1000 words on a page. Still, Greitzer notes, “The perfect length for the wedding toast complies with whatever length the couple wants it to be. Many guests don’t realize that long speeches can impact the whole evening’s timeline and affect the caterer, DJ, and so much more.”

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While it’s now common to see toasts being read off a phone, both experts agree that it’s much better to print out your speech. “Reading off of a phone comes with the risk of distractions from notifications, a weird backlight that can affect the color of your face in photos, finicky technical difficulties, and having that annoying sound interference with the mic,” says Greitzer. (You also should make sure your speech is legible with a large font and wide spacing so you can easily find your place.)

The final hurdle of giving a wedding toast is getting over your nerves. “Find a quiet place right beforehand to center yourself (perhaps the bathroom or a corner of the room), pause and breathe, and remind yourself why you care about the couple,” recommends Shapira. She also adds—perhaps unsurprisingly—that it’s best to hold back on alcohol consumption ahead of the toast. “No one expects a perfect or professional speech; they want a unique, authentic message. The speech isn’t about you—it’s about the couple. Once you reframe the fact that the center of attention isn’t on you, you can relax.”

How to Write a Perfect Wedding Speech

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Voices of Love: Unforgettable Wedding Speeches

Natalia Bayeva

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Wedding speeches are an essential part of every wedding. They let all the members of the bridal party and guests share their overwhelming emotions about the big day. Best wedding speeches stay in our memory forever, marking the significance of the wedding day for everyone involved. It can be quite challenging to fit all the feelings you want to share into a single toast . In this article, you will find invaluable tips from the expert Amanda Layton, an experienced wedding vow and speechwriter, in crafting memorable wedding speeches.

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Wedding Speeches Examples

Best wedding speeches.

Writing a wedding speech can seem daunting, but with some preparation and guidance, you can deliver a heartfelt and memorable speech that will be cherished by the newlyweds and their guests.

Good evening, everyone. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Sarah, and I’m the ___ I’ve known the bride, Emily, since we were little girls, and we’ve been best friends ever since. I remember the first time she told me about Alex, and how excited she was to go on a date with him. From that moment on, I knew he was something special. Seeing them together over the years has been such a joy, and I’m so happy to be here today to celebrate their love. Emily, you are the most kind, caring, and generous person I know. And Alex, you are her perfect match. I’ve never seen her so happy as she is with you. I know you will continue to be each other’s best friend, confidant, and partner in all of life’s adventures. So, let’s raise a glass to the newlyweds. May your love continue to grow stronger with each passing day. Congratulations!

Groom Wedding Speech

“I would like to thank my parents for all the help they have given me over the years, if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be here now. I would also like to thank (my wife’s) parents for making me feel like the son they never wanted, sorry the son they never had, right from day 2. Day 1 was a bit rough, but hey, they’re over it now. I would also like to thank them for having such a beautiful, intelligent, kind, and caring daughter. I hope to do you both proud and thank you both for everything you have done today and to make today happen.”

The groom’s wedding speech starts at the reception. On behalf of himself and his bride, he expresses his gratitude to everyone involved in the wedding preparations. He toasts his parents, bridesmaids, and the groom’s party, and mentions their help and support. His speech is often quite sentimental, as he shares some personal memories. He also mentions how his life has changed since he met his bride.

Wedding Speeches for Parents

When the kids find love, the parents are also happy. So, it rests upon them to give wedding reception speeches in honor of their children. Now, depending on the chosen style, you’ll have to fit in with the wedding theme. Most times, a funny speech is just perfect, because it works for every wedding. Below, we’ll see wedding speech examples for different parents.

Wedding Speeches for Mother of the Groom

“The first time I saw you, it was love. My little baby grew into a wobbly toddler, and then a smart child. The pre-teen and teen years and the next thing I knew, you’ve become a man. I am so proud of you. You’ve made us proud of everything you’ve done. And on your wedding today, we wish you only the best.”

As a mother of the groom, wedding speeches for your son will be an emotional one. You’ll talk about his growing up, the bond you share, and how he was well-raised. You can add one or two romantic quotes  and close. See the wedding speeches sample below.

Wedding Speeches for Mother of the Bride

“It’s no news that we love our kids so much, and seeing them grow up is hard. Everything they do fills you with pride. But you also miss the little girl who cuddles into you. And cried to you when she scraped her knee. Now my daughter is older and I’m grateful and proud that she found love in the groom. May your lives be long, happy, and peaceful together.”

The wedding speeches for mother of the bride isn’t a norm. But today, it’s becoming acceptable especially if the father isn’t involved. Tell your daughter that she’s beautiful and strong. Talk about the good memories in her growing years. And if her father has passed, talk about him with fondness.

Wedding Speeches for Father of the Groom

“My greatest blessing is having a son, one that mirrors me in many ways. But like his dream, he’s grown into his own person. He has taught me as much as I’ve taught him and I’m proud. My son is someone who goes the extra mile for people and I know he’ll make an amazing husband. I wish you every best, as we raise our glass to the groom and his amazing bride.”

Your son getting married excites you because he carries on the torch. Again, he will be looking to you for support and wisdom for marriage. So, good wedding speeches from the father of the groom must contain lots of quotes about marriage . Draw inspiration from talking about your own marriage, the bond you share, and why he’s a great son.

Wedding Speeches for Father of the Bride

“Looking at both of you in your beautiful dress and dapper suit, my wedding day comes to mind. We were quite excited, filled with love, merriment, and of course nervousness. From me to you, I’ll tell you for free that a successful marriage requires falling in love many times. And doing it with the same person always.”

As the father of the bride, you have responsibilities to your baby girl. From walking her down the aisle to the father-daughter dance. Throwing in a great speech is just perfect. Let your love for your baby shine through and talk about her growing up. Remember the groom, give them pieces of advice, and your best wishes. See the wedding speeches template below for some inspiration.

Wedding Speeches for Sister

Ladies and gentlemen, today I stand before you with immense pride and joy as I celebrate my sister’s union with [Groom’s Name]. As her older sister, I’ve had the privilege of watching her grow into the amazing woman she is today. She has found in [Groom’s Name] the love and support she deserves. Here’s to a lifetime filled with love, laughter, and cherished memories. Cheers to the newlyweds!

When delivering a wedding speech for your sister, begin by expressing your love and pride for her. Share heartfelt stories that illustrate her special qualities, highlight her relationship with the groom, and offer well-wishes for their future. End your speech by raising a toast to the newlyweds.

Best Man Wedding Speech

Take a look at this great example of a witty speech, presented by the best man.

“There comes a time in everyone’s life when they meet their one true love, their soul mate, the person that’s going to know and love them for the rest of their life. That moment came for the groom…3 years ago when he met me. Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, for those of you that don’t know me my name, is Dan, What-would-you-like-to-drink. I hope you’ll come and say hello at the bar later, but please…call me by my full name. On behalf of the bride and groom, I’d like to thank you all for coming. And I want to give special thanks to the parents of the bride and groom… it’s amazing how far some people are willing to travel, just for some free food and drink. And finally, I’d like to thank my best friend (the groom), for giving me the first EVER opportunity…. to be able to speak for five minutes without him interrupting!”
“They say, in a good marriage the husband is the head, and the wife is the heart. So let us drink to the fact that our young people did not know in life either headaches or heartaches!”
“Love is not a fire, it will catch fire, you will not put out. In the hearts of our young people, the fire of love burns. This is a sacred fire. So, fill our glasses and amicably drink to ensure that it never goes out in their hearts!”
“I drink to ensure that our newly married and in 10 years and 20 years of family life, looking at his charming wife, lost his head, but not reason.”
“Friends! I offer a drink for a kiss! After all, he came up with a man, because he did not find any other way to close a mouth to a woman.”

Wedding speeches best man deliver are usually the most humorous of all the others. Thank you’s are also appropriate, especially to the bridesmaids and fellow groomsmen. Some anecdotes about the groom would be also much anticipated. People expect wedding best man speeches to be memorable, funny, with well wishes to the couple . Humor is a must.

100+ Best Wedding Toasts For Different Types Of Guests

100+ Best Wedding Toasts For Different Types Of Guests

Maid of honor speech outline.

“Before I go any further, I just want to say, Bride, you look absolutely beautiful and Groom, you’ve never looked more handsome. For those of you who don’t know me and for those who can’t tell, I’m Bride’s sister. Thank you Bride for the honor of being your bridesmaid. Obviously, I’ve known Bride all of my life and we know more about each other than we would probably care to. We’ve laughed together, cried together, and laughed until we’ve cried. We’ve also had the odd fight! We also have so many inside jokes that only we find funny.”
“A real woman can make a man who surrendered to her, always think that he is the winner. Look at our groom. He looks like a winner. Therefore, let us drink to his beautiful victory and the woman who allowed herself to be defeated, the bride.”
“What is the difference between the fairy tale and the reality? A fairy tale is when he married a snake, and she became a princess. A reality when it on the contrary. Let the life of our newlyweds be like a fairy tale!”

There is one thing all wedding speeches maid of honor makes have in common: they boost the bride. Like any other wedding speech, the maid of honor’s speech can be witty and humorous, but the most important feature of this category is love and sentimentality. Add a couple of memorable stories you have of the newlyweds. Don’t forget well wishes!

Wedding Speeches for Best Friends

“I’m here to talk about two very special people, John and Eve. I’ve been friends with Eve since kindergarten. On our first day at school, we met and formed a friendship that has lived two decades and some. We got into trouble a lot and got grounded many times by the parents. My bestie is free-spirited and has a strong will to date. James, I hope you’re prepared for marriage with a woman who is full of life and spirit. With her, you’ll never live the same day twice. I wish you heaven’s best all your life. A toast…”

We already know you are best friends, but you still have to consider the depth of your relationship. This will determine how much you can say and what they can take. You also have to study your audience to be sure that you don’t say any uncomfortable jokes. 8 /14

Wedding Welcoming Speeches

“Welcome to the celebration of James and Eve’s wedding. A tale of love that promises to last forever. Today promises to be one of beauty, friendships formed, and bonds lasting forever. For you all who have come from far and near to celebrate, we hope you take joy home with you. The happiness of marriage is the highest happiness on earth. And this is what we’ve witnessed today. Sit back, relax, have the time of your lives, and thank you for choosing to share in our joy.

Funny Wedding Speeches

Good evening everyone! For those who don’t know me, I’m the groom’s brother. I’d like to start by saying that I’m delighted to see so many people here tonight, and I hope you’re all enjoying the celebrations as much as we are. Now, it’s not often that you get to make a speech at your brother’s wedding, so I thought I’d take this opportunity to share a few stories about him. Growing up, my brother was always the smart one. He was top of his class and excelled at everything he did. And then he met his beautiful bride-to-be, and everything changed. Suddenly he became clumsy, forgetful, and absent-minded. I guess you could say that love really does make you do crazy things. But in all seriousness, I couldn’t be happier for the two of them. They truly are a perfect match, and I have no doubt that they will have a long and happy life together. So let’s raise a glass to the newlyweds – may your marriage be filled with love, laughter, and lots of adventures!

Writing a funny wedding speech can entertain guests and create lasting memories. Keep it appropriate, short, know your audience, and practice for a smooth delivery.

Short Wedding Speeches

“Groom, thank you for being an anchor, a friend, and brother. And I can’t be more proud that you married an amazing bride. Man! You’ve won a lottery! We celebrate both of you tonight, and all of the good things you are. You care for everyone and I’m sure you’ll care for her. We wish you success, laughter, and love. May your humor in bad times and appreciation in good times never leave you. May you get answers to prayers. May the friendship you share keep growing till death parts you. Cheers to you!”

Whether you’re giving wedding speeches for the bride, best man, or brother; the shorter the better. This will help make sure you don’t bore the audience. 11 /14

Wedding Thank You Speeches

“We (couple) worked really hard to make this day perfect. But we remembered that being bound to the one you love in the presence of your loved ones — is what makes the day perfect. I’m overjoyed that we had beautiful weather. The food and drinks were great and everyone is happy. Thank you all, especially my beloved, because today I’m bound to him to start a beautiful journey together. And after all my fears and jitters, today turned out to be much more memorable than we planned. Thank you.”

Wedding thank you speeches give you the opportunity to thank your guests. You will also extend your appreciation to everyone who made your day possible. If you intend to mention names, have a list, so that you don’t leave anyone out. This speech can come from the bride or groom. But it’s always better to skip the names. Also, infuse some humor. 12 /14

Wedding Officiant Speeches

“Shall we all sit? Today, we gather to witness and celebrate the matrimony of Eve and James. What they have is an existing bond, and we’ve come together to strengthen it. As family and friends, it’s our honor to witness today. Marriage is a lifetime commitment where two people work tirelessly to bring out the best in each other. You get an opportunity to share your joys, success, failures, and burdens with an ally for life. You get an opportunity to share and grow. One relationship which no other can equal. You are in for a physical and emotional binding that has the promise of a lifetime.”

Great wedding officiant speeches must be short, sweet, and have the perfect length to keep guests dialed in. The officiant should leverage the relationship and how much they know the couple. You must also tailor your speech in line with the wedding style. 13 /14

Wedding Anniversary Speeches

“Anniversaries are beautiful recollections of the past years and reflections for the years to come. The years past were happy and successful ones in many ways. They’re shrouded in a kaleidoscope of great relationships, supportive families, and happy memories. I’m not saying it’s smooth, but with your support, the journey became easier. We can only be grateful, even as we look forward to better years. As we celebrate our 50th year, I want to thank you for walking with us. It’s not a question of where you, it’s who goes with you. Thank you, everyone.”

A wedding anniversary speech must be heartfelt, sweet, and short. Whoever is giving the speech must know that it’s a time to reminisce and give good wishes. So, you’ll talk about the marriage, throw in some humor and bless the couple. If it’s the couple giving the speech, some advice will go a long way. 14 /14

Wedding Quotes for Speeches

“I’ve seen nothing more satisfying than two people coming together to become one. They share in each other’s pleasure, and bear each other’s pain. They crush their enemies together and make home with their friends.” “The pain and weight of life vanish from our lives by one word. It sets us free and we live again. It’s called LOVE.” “If you want to keep your marriage cup filled and running over, always admit your wrongs. And, if you’re right, be kind to shut up.”

Wedding Speeches Tips

how to write a grooms wedding speech

Ready to seize the mic, command the room, and leave everyone applauding your wedding speech? Not quite yet? Amanda Layton, a Professional Wedding Speech Writer, shared top 5 tips to help you craft and deliver an epic wedding speech. With a little bit of guidance, you’ll be delivering an unforgettable toast that captures hearts and makes memories for years to come!

  • Keep it Short and Sweet First things first–when it comes to wedding speeches less is more. Did you know that a 5-minute speech is approximately 700 words? It’s important to keep your speech concise and to the point, ensuring that every word is impactful and resonates with the audience.
  • Skip the Roasts Steer clear of roasting the couple. It might sound funny in your head, but trust me, some things are better left unsaid. Avoid cringeworthy moments by focusing on heartwarming and positive anecdotes that celebrate the couple’s journey and love.
  • Harness the Power of Storytelling Capture everyone’s attention by using storytelling to highlight either the bride or groom’s wonderful qualities. Is she loyal, adventurous, generous, or kind-hearted? Is he optimistic, resilient, hilarious, etc? Share a touching story that really showcases one of these character traits, allowing everyone to get a deeper insight into how amazing this person truly is.
  • Celebrate the Path to Becoming a Husband or Wife Remember that this is a wedding celebration and your wedding speech is a great opportunity to encourage the bride in her new role as a wife or the groom in his new role as a husband. Share your heartfelt wishes and why you believe they will make an amazing partner in this new chapter of their life.
  • Practice Makes Perfect Confidence is key! Practice your speech a few times to build up your self-assurance. Remember to speak slowly when practicing because you are more likely to speed up in front of a crowd. Think of the areas you might tear up at and remember to pause and take a second to breathe. You don’t have to rush through the toast. Everyone wants to hear what you clearly have to say. Here’s the thing, the audience wants you to succeed, so embrace those nerves and let them fuel your confident delivery! You’ve got this, my friend! With these tips and a little bit of preparation, your speech is bound to be a show-stopper that leaves everyone applauding and reaching for the tissues! Crafting a memorable wedding speech is an art form, and your words have the power to touch hearts and create lasting memories.

Wedding Speeches Order

The order of wedding speeches can vary depending on cultural traditions and personal preferences. However, a common order for wedding speeches is as follows:

  • Father of the Bride: Welcomes guests, and expresses love and pride for his daughter.
  • Groom: Thanks guests, expresses gratitude to both families, and shares love for the bride.
  • Best Man: Shares humorous anecdotes about the groom, and proposes a toast.
  • Maid/Matron of Honor: Expresses friendship and admiration for the bride, offers wisdom, and proposes a toast.
  • Additional speeches: Other family members or friends may give shorter speeches or toasts as desired. Note: The order and inclusion of speeches can be customized to the couple’s preferences. Communication with the wedding party beforehand is essential for a smooth flow of the reception.

Wedding Speeches Template

Introduction:

  • Greet the guests and introduce yourself.
  • Express your gratitude for being chosen to speak at the wedding.

Personal Connection:

  • Share a personal story or memory about the couple.
  • Talk about your relationship with either the bride or groom (or both) and how you’ve seen their love grow.

Compliments and Qualities:

  • Compliment the couple individually and as a pair.
  • Highlight their qualities and what makes them a great match.

Anecdotes and Humor:

  • Share light-hearted and funny anecdotes about the couple.
  • Keep the humor appropriate and avoid embarrassing stories.

Words of Wisdom:

  • Offer advice or lessons on love, marriage, or relationships.
  • Use heartfelt and meaningful quotes or poems if desired.
  • Raise a toast to the couple’s happiness and future together.
  • Invite guests to join in raising their glasses and toasting.
  • Express well wishes and congratulations to the newlyweds.
  • End with a final heartfelt message or a toast to love.

Remember to personalize the speech to your relationship with the couple and make it heartfelt and authentic. Practice it beforehand to ensure a smooth delivery and consider keeping the speech around 3-5 minutes in length.

Things You’d Better Exclude From Any Wedding Speech

At the same time, there are things great wedding speeches avoid.

  • Do not include any embarrassing information.
  • Do not mention previous boyfriends or girlfriends of the newlyweds.
  • Do not say rude things like ‘We thought that day would never come’.
  • Do not include any crude language, there are all sorts of guests around, and what is totally appropriate in a group of friends is inappropriate at the celebration.
  • Adding humor, don’t make fun of the bride or groom. This is your best friend’s wedding, do not spoil it! If in doubt – use examples above, but by no means copy them. It is only a piece of speech to boost your imagination.

Wedding Speeches can be tricky to write, but we hope that now you have everything you need to deliver a perfect speech. A couple of jokes, a sentimental story, and letting your love for the couple shine is all it takes.

What Not to Say in a Wedding Speech

  • Embarrassing Stories : Steer clear of tales that could embarrass the couple.
  • Negative Remarks : Refrain from negative comments or jokes.
  • Excessive Inside Jokes : Ensure your speech is inclusive for all guests.
  • Lengthy Monologues : Keep it concise and engaging.
  • Controversial Topics : Avoid sensitive or controversial subjects.
  • Overuse of Clichés : Aim for originality over clichés.
  • Inappropriate Humor : Be mindful of cultural or personal sensitivities.

Frequently Asked Questions

What do you say in a wedding speech.

  • Express your love and support for the couple.
  • Share personal anecdotes or stories about them.
  • Offer well-wishes for their future together.

What is a good speech to give at a wedding?

  • A good wedding speech is heartfelt and genuine.
  • It engages the audience with humor or sentiment.
  • It balances praise, personal stories, and wishes for the couple.

What is an example of a short marriage speech?

To [Couple’s Name], may your love be as endless as the horizon, your laughter as infectious as a melody, and your journey together full of joy. Here’s to a lifetime of love and happiness. Cheers!

Save This Helpful Information And You Will Know What & When Say!

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Writing the Groom’s Speech: The Ultimate Guide to Your Wedding Toast

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Unless you’re a fan of public speaking, you’ve probably found your way here wondering how on earth you’re meant to begin writing the speech for your wedding day…

Well, as a groom, you’re in luck, the Groom’s Wedding Speech is actually a very simple, straightforward one to write, and with a couple of read-throughs, you’ll nail it (even if you are reading this the night before.

In what order should the Groom’s speech be?

A Groom’s Wedding Speech is one of the four traditional wedding speeches. Typically, the Groom’s wedding speech follows the speeches of the Father of the Bride and the Best Man, and is followed by the Maid of Honour (historically, a Bride would not make a speech). Of course, it will be completely up to you as a couple to decide who will be speaking, and what order that should be in (though someone may just surprise you and wish to speak on the day!), and of course, if this is a same-sex wedding, there may be two Grooms making speeches.  See all the different ways  same-sex couples can reinvent the speech section of their wedding.

Why the Groom’s Speech is the Easiest Wedding Speech to Write

It’s often said that the groom’s speech is the easiest speech to write because it has a simple structure and purpose. Here are some reasons why:

  • Shorter length: The groom’s speech is usually shorter than other speeches, such as the Father of the Bride or Best Man’s toast. This means that there is less pressure to come up with a lot of content, be particularly funny or entertaining, or even share personal stories – leave that up to the others if you wish.
  • Simple structure: The Groom’s speech typically follows a very simple structure, starting with an opening thank you and acknowledgment of the Bride, followed by a brief anecdote or two, possibly about wedding planning (and how much or little you’ve had to do with it), and ending with a toast to the future. This structure makes it easy to plan and write the speech.
  • Personal experience: The Groom’s speech is often based on personal experience, making it easier to write from the heart. The Groom can share stories about how he met his Bride, how he fell in love, or when he knew he wanted to marry her, which can easily make for a heartfelt and meaningful speech. Trust us, all anybody really wants to hear is how stunning you think your new wife is, and what a phenomenal job she has done planning the day (even if you think you took on a fair share of it!)

How to Write the Groom’s Wedding Speech

  • Start with a plan

Before you begin writing your speech, it’s important to have a plan in place. Think about the key points you want to make and how you can weave them together into a cohesive message, possibly incorporating a point into both the introduction and conclusion.

  • Begin with a strong opening

To captivate your audience from the start, consider beginning with a strong opening. This could be a heartfelt quote or a humorous story that sets the tone for the rest of your speech. The goal is to grab the attention of your audience and set the tone for the rest of your speech.

  • Speak from the heart

The best wedding speeches are those that come from the heart. While it can be tempting to focus on jokes or generic sentiments, take the time to speak honestly about your feelings. Share what you love about your new spouse and what makes your relationship special. Speak from the heart, and your words will be sure to resonate with your audience.

  • Keep it concise

While you may have a lot to say, it’s important to keep your speech concise. Aim for a speech that lasts around five minutes, as anything longer can cause your audience to lose interest. Stick to the key points you want to make and be mindful of your audience’s attention span.

  • Include humor

Wedding speeches don’t have to be serious all the time. In fact, including humor can be a great way to engage your audience and lighten the mood. Consider adding a funny story or anecdote to your speech to break up the more serious moments., practice, practice.

  • Practice Reading Your Speech

Once you’ve written your speech, it’s time to practice. Read it out loud several times to get a feel for how it sounds and to make sure it flows well. Consider practicing in front of a mirror or in front of a friend to get feedback. The more you practice, the more comfortable you’ll feel delivering your speech on the big day.

Making the Groom’s Speech Funny

If humour comes naturally to you, your speech is likely to be funny too, and your guests are the ones who know and love you best (so they’ll definitely laugh along with you). If you struggle to tell personal anecdotes, consider including some funny quotes or sweet sayings:

  • “The secret to a good marriage is to be a little deaf.”  —  Ruth Bader Ginsburg 
  • “If at first you don’t succeed…try doing it the way your wife told you.”  —  Unknown
  • “The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret.”  —  Henny Youngman
  • “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times—always with the same person.”  —  Mignon McLaughlin (this one’s in our ‘ I still do ‘ anniversary journal)
  • “To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.”  —  Ogden Nash

What should the Groom actually say in his wedding speech?

Of course, the groom’s wedding speech is also an opportunity to express his love and appreciation for his partner in front of friends and family. It’s a chance to share heartfelt words that capture the essence of their relationship and the depth of his feelings. While there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to writing a groom’s speech, the following tips can help create a personal and loving tribute:

  • Start with gratitude: Begin by thanking everyone for being there to celebrate this special day. Express your gratitude for their love and support, and how much it means to have them all there with you.
  • Acknowledge your partner: Take a moment to acknowledge your partner and how much they mean to you. Share a personal story about how you met or something that has strengthened your relationship over time. Speak from the heart and let your emotions guide you. Thank them, if they have worked really hard to plan the wedding , as it has probably been a huge emotional undertaking for them too.
  • Speak to their qualities: Talk about the qualities you admire in your partner, such as their kindness, compassion, sense of humor, or intelligence. Share specific examples that demonstrate these traits and how they have impacted your life.
  • Express your love: This is the perfect opportunity to express your love and affection for your partner. Use language that is personal and meaningful to you, whether it’s through poetry, song lyrics, or your own heartfelt words.
  • Make promises: A wedding is a celebration of a lifelong commitment, so take this opportunity to make promises to your partner about the future you will build together. Reinforce the vows you wrote to each other . You might promise to support them through thick and thin, to always be their partner in life, or to continue growing and learning together.
  • Thank the families: Thank both families for their love and support, and for coming together to celebrate this special day. Acknowledge any special people in your partner’s life, such as parents or grandparents, and express your gratitude for their presence.
  • End with a toast: Raise a glass to your partner, your families, and your future together. Invite everyone to join you in celebrating this joyous occasion and toast to the happiness and love that lies ahead.

Is there anything the Groom shouldn’t say in his speech?

Ah, yes, we’re so glad you asked, there are a few things never to include in a wedding speech .

  • No matter how funny the anecdote sounds to you on paper, ex-girlfriends or past relationships for either party are off the table . It’s best to avoid this topic entirely.
  • Controversial or sensitive topics: Weddings are a time to celebrate love and happiness, so it’s best to avoid controversial or sensitive topics that could potentially upset or offend guests. This could include politics, religion, or other divisive issues.
  • Inside jokes or stories that are inappropriate: While inside jokes and stories can be entertaining, it’s important to consider whether they are appropriate for a wider audience. If a story or joke could potentially embarrass or offend someone, it’s best to avoid it.
  • Negative comments about anyone (ANYONE): A wedding is a time to celebrate and show love, so it’s important to avoid negative comments or criticism of anyone. This includes family members, friends, vendors, or even the bride or groom themselves. Don’t resort to self-deprecating humour, this just isn’t the time. See etiquette guide to wedding speeches .

Remember, the most important thing is to speak from the heart and be true to yourself. While it can be tempting to focus on jokes or generic sentiments, take the time to speak honestly about your feelings. Share what you love about your new spouse and what makes your relationship special. Speak from the heart, and your words will be sure to resonate with your audience. Don’t worry too much about getting the words perfect – the emotion behind them is what really counts. With these tips in mind, you can create a personal and loving tribute to yo.ur partner that will be remembered for years to come.

Finally, the best, most entertaining and engaging speeches are ones which are to the point and concise. Aim for a speech that lasts around five minutes, as anything longer can cause your audience to lose interest. Stick to the key points you want to make and be mindful of your audience’s attention span.

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Groom Speech Structure: Write The Perfect Speech

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(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out all the different ways the Speechy team can help you write & deliver a great speech. Or check out our new AI-powered team member, SpeechyAI .)

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Never mind ‘how’ you’ll write your speech, worry about ‘when’.

Start soon , ideally two months before the wedding. Do not be tempted to put off writing until you’re hit by divine inspiration (it rarely strikes) and do not get side-tracked by table plans or biscuits.

Don’t underestimate how long it can take to be witty, meaningful, and memorable. Yes, you know your subject rather well (we’re hoping) but even professional comedians can take months to write five minutes of content.

So, lock yourself in a room, turn off your notifications, and get STARTED.

2. The Basic Speech Structure

A speech is not about handing out gifts and it’s not (just) about thanking people. It’s about reminding everyone why they should be celebrating the newlyweds getting hitched. It’s explaining why two sane people have just promised to tolerate each other’s crazy habits and personality quirks for the rest of their lives.

So, forget the old-fashioned etiquette books, the basic structure for a modern groom’s speech is relatively simple…

  • Hello, welcome & thank everyone
  • Relationship stories and insights to make your guests smile & laugh
  • A meaningful tribute to your partner (poignant & unique, not cheesy or cliched!)
  • The thank yous (we’ll get to those next)
  • Possibly a tribute to the dearly departed 
  • A toast that leaves everyone smiling (not bored by how predictable it is)

And that’s it really.

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3. Know Your Speech Etiquette

There are plenty of good etiquette guides online but sound the klaxon, they come with a warning. Etiquette guides can seriously damage your speech. They can make you think your groom’s speech has to include a long list of thank-yous and old-fashioned clichés. Resist the urge.

Here’s our no-nonsense guide to speech etiquette –

  • Be yourself – just because you’re wearing fancy clothes doesn’t mean you need to use formalities like ‘Ladies and Gentlemen’. Your friends and family want to hear the real you.
  • Thank the important people –  Sure, thank everyone for coming but don’t namecheck half the guestlist.
  • Remember those actors who win an Oscar and thank their parents, the director, the lighting guy, and their dog? Boring isn’t it? Especially when you don’t get a mention.
  • Simply thank both sets of parents, anyone who’s contributed financially (though don’t be explicit about that), the people who have gone beyond the call of duty to help, and any children you may have.
  • Don’t thank people like the caterers or anyone who you have paid.
  • Don’t give thank-you gifts – Well, feel free to but don’t include the gift-giving as part of the speech. It will put you off your flow and it’s awkward to sit through. Give any gifts earlier or later in the day.
  • Be clever – Make the thanks yous feel part of the story you’re telling. If you’re having a festival themed wedding then thank the backstage support and the incredible roadies who have helped.
  • Your toast – Don’t feel pressured into toasting the bridesmaids. Certainly, thank them and say how stunning they look (they took three hours getting ready after all!) but these days you can toast anything you want and we encourage you to be personal.
  • Why not propose a tequila toast ? Something inclusive, something about love, and something that gets people in the mood to party.

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4. Wedding Speech Material

So, other than the speech ‘to dos’ what makes up the bulk of your speech? Well, stories of course…

STORY-HUNTING – Imagine you’re one of those detectives you see on TV (only without the Swedish accent or psychological problems). You have a theory, maybe that you’re marrying someone kind of special. It’s now up to you to prove it.

Retrace your romantic steps (metaphorically not literally, that could take some time) and work out the key bits of evidence.

What moments have been meaningful, funny, or illustrate a point? If you want to reference the fact your partner is a bit ditsy, remember the time they reported her car stolen only to discover they’d parked it round the corner.

GET INSIGHTFUL – Hunt down the things that make you and your partner unique. This is what adds depth, meaning, and humour to your speech. It also stops you from sounding like a generic cliche of a groom.

So, how does your partner put up with you? Are you the husband who can’t open jars? Do you eat your burgers with a knife and fork? It’s time to confess.

And what unique traits does your partner have? The ability to respond to Whatapp messages before they’re actually sent? An encyclopedic knowledge of The Great British Bake Off and its soggy bottoms? A ridiculously long tongue? Whatever it is, make sure you pay tribute to their individual quirks. It says much more than just saying how awesome they look (though it’s essential you say that too!).

how to write a grooms wedding speech

5. Find a Theme

Right, this is the important bit.

Your speech is made up of lots of different elements but your job is to bind them all so your speech needs to sound like a story rather than a list of unconnected thoughts.

You need to hook people in from the beginning, establish a theme, and carry that through to an almighty climax.

There are infinite theme ideas but here are a few classics you could consider…

THEME IDEAS BASED ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP

  • Love Lessons. What you’ve learnt from each other over the years; the good, the bad and the plain ugly. A theme like this is great for starting with comedic examples and moving on to more profound ones.
  • The power of serendipity. This works if luck has played a part in your relationship (even if it was simply that your partner lived within a 20km radius of your online dating search).
  • How love changes with time. This is a good concept if you’re getting married at a later stage in life. It can include comedic insights (‘Less podium dancing, more pension haggling’) but conclude with more a meaningful sentiment (‘When you get to your sixties, you know what’s important to you and you can promise things that you only now truly understand.’)
  • The international language of love. A great theme if you have an international guest list. Use proverbs and words from their countries of origin to punctuate your speech. Say it in your guest’s native language and then translate. It makes everyone feel included in the speech and also brings something new to the table. There are some great proverbs out there, from Ethiopia’s ‘ Coffee and love taste better when they’re hot’ to India’s ‘It is love that makes the impossible, possible’.

You get the idea.

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6. Be Funny

Even if the crux of your speech is emotional and romantic it’s still good to have some humour in there too.

Nobody is expecting you to be a stand-up comedian but try to find the comedy in your reality. Are you and your partner really alike or really different? Do you share a guilty pleasure? Do you have a distinctive style of arguing? These sorts of areas make great speech material.

Whatever you do, resist the Googled gags or cheesy wedding jokes. Instead, check out our how to be funny guide.

7. Be Sweet (Not Sickly)

Firstly, be honest. There’s no point making declarations of love if people don’t recognise the person you’re talking about.

Don’t pretend that your partner is perfect or that you don’t argue over control of the TV remote control. Love them for the crazy nut-job they really are.

Secondly, don’t go OTT. You have to get the balance right between sweet and just showing off. Leave the pet names at home and keep anything overly gushing for the bedroom.

A good trick is simply writing a list of all the little, quirky things you like about your partner a la When Harry Met Sally .

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8. Be Different

Try to avoid cliches like ‘ special’ or ‘ the one’ and create new ways of describing love.

One groom said he was attracted to his wife because she looked like ‘ Bridget Bardot dressed up for a night at The Hog’s Head disco’ .

Another groom said his first date with his wife had left him with ‘ the feeling you get after the three course special at The Raj; very happy, completely satisfied but slightly nervous about what’s to come’.

If you’re really stuck, replace a generic cliche with a good, solid quote. Whilst plagiarism and being boring are never acceptable, using quotes is seen as positively inspired.

Check out our favourite Groom Speech Quotes.

9. Keep It Short

Aim for somewhere between seven and nine minutes. And that includes the pauses you leave for the laughter. Jokes are funnier when they’re short and punchy, and senitment is more powerful when it’s succinct.

You may feel you have SOOOOOO much you want to say but the real test is saying it in the least amount of words. It’s kind of like a perverse game of Scrabble.

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10. Test it Out

Firstly on yourself. Read the speech out loud and if you find yourself stumbling on the same bit every time, change it.

Then get an audience. It needs to be someone whose advice you value, so don’t ask your mum if you’re going to ignore her.

Deliver it as you would on the wedding day. Leave pauses for the laughter (ironically speakers often talk over the laughter they’ve worked so hard to achieve). Remember to smile. Look at your audience.

And then – be receptive to criticism. If someone doesn’t get a joke, don’t waste your time explaining it as you won’t be able to do that on the day. The point of testing your speech is you still have time to change it.

The Speechwriting Experts

The Speechy team  are TV-trained scriptwriters/comedians by trade & we’ve helped 1,000s of speakers around the world deliver their dream speech.

Our advice has been quoted everywhere from  The New York Times  to  Grazia  and from Forbes to The Observer . Our founder has also featured on the  BBC Sounds’ Best Men podcast with Jason Manford and written ‘ The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’ , published by Little, Brown.

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How To Write A Wedding Speech: The Ultimate Guide For Do’s, Don’ts, and Delivery PART 1/3: Do’s

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how to write a wedding speech dos

how to write a wedding speech dos

Someone you love is getting married, and you’ve just been asked to give a speech at the wedding. What an honor! But also, if you’re not used to giving speeches, what a nightmare! Public speaking can be scary , which is why many people prefer to avoid it. But when your bestie asks you to make a speech at his or her wedding, it’s time to rally. But now you’re wondering if you even know how to write a wedding speech! What makes some wedding speeches fun and memorable, and what makes others cringy and fall flat? We’ve got you. We’ve put together the ultimate guide for how to write a wedding speech, focusing on things you definitely should do, things you definitely should NOT do, and then how to deliver your killer wedding speech like a pro.

If you’re wondering how to write a wedding speech, here are a few “Do’s” to keep in mind.

  • Start planning early
  • Introduce yourself and how you know the bride and groom
  • Thanks to hosts, guests, and wedding party; congratulate the couple
  • Make it personal
  • Think of 3 traits with 3 stories
  • Talk about the couple
  • Have a beginning, middle, and end
  • Consider your audience
  • Keep it short and sweet
  • It’s okay to be simple and meaningful

1. Start planning early

If you don’t know how to write a wedding speech but the bride just asked you to give one, this is not a time to procrastinate. Public speaking is one of the number one fears many people have, so it’s likely you’ve avoided giving too many public speeches before this. And unless you’re a performer or a veteran improv comedian, you might not do too well winging this one. If you get nervous in front of an audience (as most of us do), the best defense against freezing up when you take the mic is being prepared. 

As soon as you know you’ve been asked to give a speech at the wedding, begin jotting down notes immediately. Whenever you’re inspired by a thought of the couple or remember an anecdote that might be worth retelling, make note of it. This will help to give you a pool of ideas to draw from when you start writing down the speech.

Begin gathering ideas and writing the speech a couple of weeks to a month before the wedding. You’ll need time to edit, fine-tune it, and make it concise. And as wedding showers, bachelorette parties, and other wedding festivities begin, you might find there are entertaining stories from these events you want to add as well. If you want to write it all at once, you can do that too. However, make sure to sleep on it and come back with fresh eyes. You don’t want just “okay,” you want your speech to be heartfelt and meaningful.

You will also want to begin early to give yourself time to practice and rehearse your speech plenty of times.

2. Introduce yourself and how you know the bride and groom

No matter how large or small the wedding is, it’s likely you will not be familiar with many of the guests on one or both sides. And they won’t be familiar with you either. So don’t leave them guessing! 

Make sure when you start to write a wedding speech to introduce yourself and mention how you know the couple. This will help them understand the context of your speech, which will also help it to be more well-received. 

3. Thank hosts, guests, and wedding party; congratulate the couple

It’s also courteous to take this time to thank the hosts and other members of the wedding party for all the hard work that went into the event, and to thank guests for being there to support the newlyweds, especially those who had to travel far. 

It’s also a good time to officially congratulate the newlyweds and offer them your personal well-wishes for their future. It is imperative that you don’t forget this part, because they are the whole reason you’re there and giving a speech!

4. Make it personal

Whether you are the maid of honor, the best man, father of the bride, or just a friend, you were asked to give a speech because of your close connection and relationship with either the bride or groom (or both). 

And since you know your friend as well as you do, you probably have plenty of stories to share; so the next tip for how to write a wedding speech is don’t hesitate to make it personal and share those stories! This will also help guests get to know the other half of the couple they might not know as well or are just meeting for the first time. And those guests who do know them will love hearing some entertaining stories they might not have heard yet.

5. Think of 3 traits with 3 stories

If you’re finding it difficult to come up with anything, a useful approach for how to write a wedding speech is to think of 3 positive defining traits or qualities of the bride or groom and recount three stories or examples that illuminate a time they exhibited these traits. These stories could be comedic, heartwarming, or both. Just make sure they are relevant and entertaining!

6. Talk about the couple

If you’re the maid of honor and have been chatting up the bride for the whole speech, part of how to write a wedding speech is to make sure at some point it circles around to the groom, too, and to the two of them as a couple.  

Recount the time you met him, or how you remember talking about him with the bride in the beginning stages of their relationship. If you don’t know the groom all that well, talk about how good they are as a couple and about how happy he makes her. 

And If you’re not a fan of the groom, this is not the time to air your grievances. Always keep it positive. 

7. Have a beginning, middle, and end

All good speeches have a good flow and take the audience along with it. 

Don’t let your speech fall flat or jumble together in a haphazard confusion of disconnected anecdotes. Give it the structure of an overarching theme, with a beginning, a middle, and an end. 

We are not talking about a novel here, just make sure there is a direction to where the speech is going, and that the destination, end, or sentiment is achieved. It doesn’t need to be Charlie Chaplin in The Great Dictator, but a three-act structure does help keep you grounded. Most people also follow a story easier when there is a clear direction for a story or speech. 

8. Consider your audience

The next thing to keep in mind when considering how to write a wedding speech is to make sure you consider who your audience is. 

This is not the bachelor or bachelorette party. There will be a wide range of people present from children to the elderly, and from close friends of the bride and groom to casual acquaintances and coworkers. Make sure your speech is free of any crudeness that might not be fit for such a varied audience. Also, this isn’t the time to take a shot at any of the religious cermonies.

Be considerate and keep it positive and use language everyone can relate to. 

9. Keep it short and sweet

You want your speech to be meaningful and memorable; but the wedding is not about you, and yours is not the only speech. 

No one ever complains about a speech being too short, but they do begin to grumble if it runs on too long. A good rule of thumb to keep in mind when figuring out how to write a wedding speech is to keep your speech between 2-5 minutes long. Any longer than 5 minutes and you’ll lose everyone to thoughts of cake and whether or not to Cupid Shuffle later. 

10. Add humor

Don’t be afraid to be funny! Another tip for how to write a wedding speech is that if you’ve got a lighthearted, creative, joking side, use it and add humor to your speech! Everyone likes to be entertained. 

This doesn’t mean you should scour the internet for generic wedding-themed jokes, but if you’ve got some good original material to use that helps relate a story about the bride or groom in a comedic way, do it. As long as you’re not making fun of the couple but having fun with them, jokes are great. Or you can even poke fun at yourself to illuminate a higher quality in your bestie. It’s all about making the newlyweds shine. 

If you’re creative and have other talents, use them! If you are musical, bust out your instrument and/or vocal cords and make the speech in the form of a song! Use props, and get the other guests involved! The newlyweds will feel special because you created something for them, and the guests will love joining in the fun.

11. It’s okay to be simple and meaningful

If entertaining isn’t your thing, that’s okay! Don’t force it – just be yourself. It’s okay to be simple and meaningful with your speech. Always keep in mind when you go to write a wedding speech that what’s important is that you are genuine and speak from the heart.

Hopefully, you found these tips for how to write a wedding speech helpful, and can start writing today! And stay tuned to our blog for the next part in this ultimate guide for how to write a wedding speech where we highlight a few things you should definitely avoid.

Love this content and want more? Read more about weddings on our blog ! Involved in the wedding planning process and the bride is still looking for a venue ? Give us a call today and we’ll help you find the perfect place!

Jennings Trace

Jennings Trace

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How to write a Groom’s wedding speech

Nail your nerves and craft a groom’s speech that’ll blow your wedding guests away.

As a groom, what makes the perfect wedding speech? Should you be funny like the best man? Emotional like the maid of honour ? Or pull the heart strings like the father of the bride? Well, the answer is, a little bit of each would be ideal! With some admin thrown in. Unlike many of the other wedding speeches being given on the day, the groom’s speech is basically one big thank you. There’s no set things you should say, no style it has to be written in, or reaction it needs to receive. Essentially, you just have to praise and complement those closest to you for all their hard work ( and money ), while thanking the assembled guests for being there. Easy, right…?

If you’re not used to speaking in public, or you’re unsure of exactly how to lay out your speech, don’t worry. We’ve put together some easy-to-follow tips that’ll help you write the perfect groom speech for your wedding day.

The people you need to thank

As mentioned, the groom’s speech is all about thanking friends and family who were involved in putting the wedding together. Alongside that, it’s nice to also welcome the other side of the family, as well as remembering those who couldn’t be there on the day. Suppliers too, if you feel they played a really significant part in your day being a success, share the ones who deserve a special mention. You never know, it could lead to one of your loved ones hiring your wedding photographer for their big day.

Give your speech structure

It could be tempting to just run head first towards all those thank-yous, desperately trying not to miss anyone out. This approach, although potentially fun to watch, will seem quite chaotic and almost certainly lead to you missing important members of the wedding party out. Instead, organise your thoughts, and create an outline. You don’t need to write your groom’s speech out and follow it word by word on the wedding day. But you should have bullet notes you can (mentally) tick off as you go. Here’s a simple outline that will work for most groom speeches: · Introduce yourself, and say a few words about the day so far. · Welcome everyone, and thank them for coming · Thank specific people involved in the wedding. · Share a personal anecdote or story about your wedding planning journey, or relationship. · Share how you feel about your spouse. · Thank everyone for coming again and let guests know any information the venue has given you. Food or bar times, when certain events will be, that sort of thing. · Raise a toast.

Keep it light, but don’t force humour

We’re not all blessed with a funny bone. If you’re someone who’s never been the joker in the pack, the wisecracker in the group. Don’t force yourself to be one during your groom’s speech, on your wedding day! Your guests know you, they love you, and they want to hear a speech that sounds like it came from you, not Seinfeld. However, if making a joke here and there is part of your personality, by all means, use humour in your speech. But it’s important to strike a balance between laughs and sentiment. Guests should get a sense of how serious you are about the day, and feel your emotions. And they can’t do that if you’re just delivering a stand-up routine. Keep wedding guests interested and engaged in your groom’s speech by bouncing back and forth between playfulness and sentimentality. Jokes, interspersed with more serious, and emotional parts, is the key to a successful groom’s speech.

How long should a Groom’s wedding speech be?

The secret to any good speech is to keep it short and sweet. However humorous, or emotional your groom’s speech is, wedding guests will soon start to nod off if it goes on too long. Likewise, if you only share a couple of words, there’s no way loved ones will get a sense of how you feel about the day, or their contribution. Recite, or practice your groom’s speech ahead of the wedding day, multiple times, so you know how long it is. And remember that nervous energy will potentially take over on the day, speeding up the whole speech , and shaving off 30 seconds from the total time. Another reason why it’s important to practice. Overall, on your wedding day, aim to keep your groom’s speech around 2–3 minutes long. In that time, you should be able to convey just how delighted and thankful you truly are. Without sending any older relatives off to sleep! We hope we have inspired your groom’s speech, and hopefully settled some nerves ahead of the wedding day! It would be a pleasure to guide you further, and introduce you to our lovely wedding venue in Co Kildare. The Abbey is only an hour away from Dublin, and has an 18th century chapel on-site, a stunning ballroom, multiple events spaces and 38 contemporary style rooms. You are welcome to have a browse of our wedding venue online , and if you like what you see, please get in touch via our contact page to book a viewing. And while you wait for your visit, you can find out more about us via our online brochure .

how to write a grooms wedding speech

HOW TO WRITE A MEMORABLE GROOM SPEECH

MEMORABLE GROOM SPEECH

Traditionally, the wedding reception is home to several speeches from the wedding party and the bride and groom’s parents. It’s a time to celebrate the new marriage and share stories of fond memories of the couple. Your groom speech is a chance to share how much you love your bride, but writing the groom’s speech can be daunting for those who haven’t attended several weddings this year to see them in action. Here’s an easy format you can follow to write the perfect groom’s speech for your big day.

WELCOME YOUR GUESTS

Start off your speech by welcoming those who have come to help you celebrate your marriage. Thank them for coming to share this special day with you and your new wife. You can give specific welcomes, but try to stick to the basic categories: friends and family.  Sometimes is may be ideal to start out with a joke to break the ice, have a look at some of our funny examples .

THANK THOSE WHO HELPED

In this section, you’ll want to thank those who have had a significant role in making your wedding a reality. This includes those who funded the wedding (though this doesn’t need to be stated aloud during the speech), parents, supporters, the Best Man, and the Maid of Honor . You can also thank anyone in your life who had a large role in supporting your relationship before your engagement. Is there someone who introduced the two of you? A married couple that mentored you during your relationship? A community that you both belong to that supported your relationship? These people helped make your wedding happen, so take a moment to thank them publicly.

  • The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Speeches & Toasts . Our go-to guide.
  • Groom’s Speech.  Deliver an amazing Groom wedding speech. Groom speech examples .
  • Best Man Speech.  Create an awesome best man speech. Example best man speeches .
  • Father of the Bride Speech .  A heartfelt father of bride speech. Example father speeches .
  • Sample Toasts & Speech Quotes . One liners, funny quotes, love parables and much more.
  • Recent Wedding Speech Posts . Latest blog posts about wedding speeches and toasts.

ADDRESS YOUR WEDDING PARTY

Take a brief moment to thank and acknowledge each groomsman and bridesmaid. Even just calling each one by name and thanking them for helping your big day run smoothly is enough. Everyone likes to be recognized.

FAWN OVER YOUR LADY

At this time, you can look your bride in the eyes and share how much she means to you. This part of the speech can be made very personal, and is intended to make your bride feel loved and adored in front of all of your guests. Remember to include aspects of her physical beauty as well as her character and what makes you love her. You can be sappy or you can remain more formal, but remember not to lean too far in one direction. Too formal, and it won’t feel natural and true. Too sappy, and everyone will be rolling their eyes by the end of it, including your bride.

INTRODUCE YOURSELVES AS A MARRIED COUPLE

After you’ve talked about how great your blushing bride is, you have the chance to tell everyone present what you are as a couple. You can share a meaningful or funny story, describe how you met, and talk about how she has changed your life since meeting her. You can talk about how you look forward to growing with her over the years, or share a value the two of you intend to base your lives on. If you share a religious affiliation, this is a good time to bring that up if you intend to make it the basis of your shared life. This is the first time you get to introduce yourselves as a married couple, so think about how you want to represent your new marriage to your guests.

FAWN OVER YOUR LADY…AGAIN

You’ll want to end your speech by talking once more about how much you love your bride. This is the day to celebrate how much you love her, so take every opportunity to do that! You don’t need to drag the speech on, but make sure the last thing you say is about how much you love your wife.

WHAT NOT TO SAY

Almost as important as what you do include in your speech is what you choose to leave out. Obviously, you’ll want to leave out any profanity, but make sure these don’t make it into your final speech either:

Delivery Tips

  • Over-used cliches. Unless it’s one that really speaks to your relationship, try to keep it original.
  • Excessive thank-yous. Thank the important figures in your relationship, but it’s not necessary to thank every person who helped with the wedding in a small way.
  • Innuendos or sexual remarks. This should go without saying, but keep it PG for the sake of your bride’s conservative grandmother.

Even the most experienced public speaker can get flustered at the thought of speaking at his own wedding, so it’s normal to feel nervous about the speech. Keep these points in mind to make sure your speech is well-received and natural:

  • Practice, practice, practice. The more you go over your speech beforehand, the more comfortable it will be to give it. You don’t need to feel pressured to memorize it, but make sure you can give the whole speech without reading straight from your notes
  • Look your bride in the eye. Don’t stare her down the whole time you speak, but you should make intentional eye contact while you’re talking about how much you love her.
  • Use tasteful humor to keep a lighter mood. Sharing a funny story or telling a short joke can put your guests at ease and make the whole speech feel more conversational.
  • Keep it brief. Choose your words carefully and intentionally to avoid dragging on your speech. A short but meaningful speech is easier to deliver than a long speech that is full of verbal fluff.

Most importantly, remember that the speech you give at your wedding won’t be the only thing people remember. As long as your bride can tell that you love her from your speech, nothing else matters.

Young, Hip & Married

How to Write A Killer Bride or Groom Wedding Speech

Young, Hip & Married

Writing a wedding speech can be a daunting task, especially if you’re nervous about speaking in front of a group. But it’s an awesome opportunity to let your nearest and dearest know how much they mean to you and how much you appreciate them celebrating the start of your marriage with you.

Traditionally, brides don’t give speeches. They sit quietly and listen while their dad, the best man and the groom give speeches. Brides were to be seen and not heard. But we’ve had enough of that. If you’re a bride who wants to speak at your own wedding – more power to you! We 100% support a bride being heard on her own wedding day.

Getting ready to write your bride or groom wedding speech? Awesome! We’ve got all the steps you need to write a killer wedding speech that will leave the room laughing, crying and applauding wildly by the time you drop the mic.

Decide on the logistics

Before you get to the nitty-gritty of speech writing, figure out some of the big picture issues. Who is going to be giving the speech? Are you speaking together or separately? If you’re giving two separate speeches, who is going first? When in the night are you giving the speech? How long will the speech be? What’s the tone going to be?

Start your wedding speech with some thank yous

This one is easy! You start your speech by giving a round of thank yous. Thank all of your guests for coming, thank your wedding party for supporting you, thank out-of-towners for making the trek, thank your parents for all their love, thank your new spouse’s parents for welcoming you into the family, thank special people who made the day possible, thank vendors, THANK THEM ALL! Or, y’know, thank who you want to thank.

giving a wedding speech at their wedding reception

Mention those who couldn’t be there

This step is optional, but if you’d like, it’s a great time to pay tribute to people who couldn’t be at your wedding. This could be important people who couldn’t physically make it, maybe they are unable to travel or sick. Or this could be people who have passed on that you want to honour on your special day.

Add a short & sweet anecdote to your wedding speech

Here’s the fun part: now you get to gush about your boo! Include a short story about how you met, when you knew you were in love or a funny tidbit from wedding planning. The idea here is that you want to share a cute story, nothing embarrassing. And you’ll want to keep it short, especially if you and your spouse are both sharing little stories. You’ll also want to double check with anyone else giving speeches that you’re not all re-telling the same story.

bride and groom wedding thank you speech at their wedding reception

End with your partner

You made it! You’re at the end of your speech. Now all you have to do is address your partner and cue the waterworks. This is where you let your brand new husband or wife know how happy you are to be married to them, how much today has meant to you or anything you weren’t able to fit into your vows.

Practice makes perfect

Especially if you’re nervous, rehearse your speech. Stand in front of the mirror, ask someone in your wedding party to lend an ear or recite your speech to your dog. And if you’re planning on doing the speech together and splitting up the different sections, you’ll definitely want to practice with your partner. If there are parts of the speech you want to keep as a surprise for the big day, that’s totally fine. Just rehearse the rest together so you know who says what when.

bride and groom wedding speech at their wedding reception, tips for writing your wedding speech

You know what we say – your wedding, your way! So if you’re really nervous about giving your speech in front of so many people, maybe you can give a speech at your rehearsal dinner in front of a smaller audience instead. If you’re scared you’ll be all teary by the end of the speeches, forget the tradition of the couple speaking last and do your speech first. And if the idea of a speech totally terrifies you, skip it all together! You can give out cards to your loved ones or talk to them one on one and let them know how much you appreciate them making your wedding day magical.

Last minute dos & don’ts for writing the best wedding speech ever!

  • DO: write it down and don’t try to wing it. Have a paper copy so you’re not frantically trying to find your phone only for it to die when you’re halfway done your speech.
  • DON’T: wait until you’re too drunk to give your speech. If you think you’ll be sloshed by 8:00pm, give your speech by 7:00pm.
  • DO: feel free to respond to other speeches. If you go last, you can totally improvise a bit and thank you dad for his sweet words or try to defend yourself in the story your best man just told.
  • DON’T: hog the mic. If you and your partner are giving the speech together, divide it up so you can both speak equally.
  • DO: be courteous of your guests’ time. Especially if you have a lot of speeches planned, try to keep yours short and to the point.
  • DON’T: share anything too embarrassing, too intimate or too inside joke-y. Trust us, you’ll regret it when your nana comes up to you later and asks you to explain that story from the time you had a pregnancy scare in Vegas.

Are you planning to give a speech at your wedding?  For more wedding planning advice, visit our blog . And to learn more about our team of wedding officiants and book an officiant for your wedding, get in touch! 

written by Riana Ang-Canning

Riana Ang-Canning (headshot)

Riana Ang-Canning

Riana Ang-Canning has been working with Young Hip & Married since 2017. She is a professional content writer with experience in travel, lifestyle and weddings. Riana not only writes Young Hip & Married blog posts but is also involved with the company's internal communications, social media, copywriting and more. She knows YHM, and the wedding world, inside and out!

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How to Write a Wedding Speech

Last Updated: January 4, 2024 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Jenny Yi . Jenny Yi is the Founder of Chloe+Mint, an award-winning full service event planning company that specializes in wedding planning, design and floral design. Jenny has been in the industry for over 5 years, and also works closely with notable brands and celebrities on branding and events. There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 599,571 times.

For most people, their wedding day will be among the most important days of their lives. As such, it is customary for a close friend or loved one to deliver a speech congratulating the newlyweds on their union. This can be a nerve-wracking prospect if you’re the one called upon to give a speech in front of a big, expectant crowd. As the speechwriter, it will pay off to make sure that you’re organized, keep it concise and practice extensively beforehand.

Things You Should Know

Professional wedding planner Jenny Yi says the wedding speech should be “impactful, short, and sweet.” Explain how you know the bride and groom, share a quick backstory on how they met, then wish them well as a couple.

Sample Speeches

how to write a grooms wedding speech

Writing a Meaningful Speech

Step 1 Introduce yourself to the crowd.

  • The best man and maid of honor are usually each asked to make a short speech on behalf of the wedding party. After that, the microphone is sometimes turned over to whoever would like to say a few words.
  • Saying your name and briefly summarizing your history with the bride or groom will be enough. Don’t talk about yourself too much. Remember, the focus of your speech is the married couple.

Step 2 Open with a joke.

  • Use jokes judiciously to break the initial tension and keep the crowd relaxed. Try not to let your speech turn into a stand up comedy routine.
  • Keep your humorous stories and remarks appropriate. There will be people of all ages in your audience, including children.
  • Funny stories might include a funny story about the bride and groom's meeting, or an anecdote about one of them as a child.

Step 3 Share memories of the bride and groom.

  • Sharing unique memories or stories is much more effective than simply complimenting the bride or groom because it is a more personal touch.

Step 4 Offer advice or well-wishes for the future.

  • If you decide to use a quote for this segment of the speech, make sure it is short, relevant and not a cliche.

Step 5 Thank everyone in attendance.

  • Acknowledging the people who helped make the wedding festivities possible will make you appear humble, as well as making them feel appreciated.
  • Express your gratitude in a couple sentences. There’s no need to go on and on thanking every person individually by name.

Making Sure You're Prepared

Step 1 Write the speech well in advance.

  • Treat your speech like you would a school assignment. Compose several drafts, check it for errors and have a friend proofread it to make sure it sounds good.

Step 2 Know when you’re expect to deliver the speech.

  • Familiarize yourself with the order of presentation if multiple speeches are to be given.
  • Don’t spend the entire ceremony fretting over your speech. If you’re sufficiently prepared, you won’t need to give it a second thought until it’s time for you to deliver it.

Step 3 Practice, practice, practice.

  • Know your speech word for word, but try not to sound like you’re simply reciting it from memory. Pace yourself and give every passage emphasis, emotion and clarity.

Step 4 Bring your notes with you.

  • Put your entire speech on a couple note cards rather than a several large sheets of paper. Not only will this look better, it will help you keep your speech at the appropriate length.
  • Only look at your notes if you draw a blank or forget the next part. This will allow you to keep your eyes up and engage your audience. Even the most riveting speech will be a bore if the person giving it is reading off a note card the whole time.

Giving the Speech

Step 1 Maintain your composure.

  • Take a few slow, deep breaths. Think about what you’re saying and shut out all other distractions. Imagine that you’re giving your speech to one person instead of a room full of people.
  • Have a drink or two if it helps your nerves. Just don’t have too many—you want to be focused and clear-headed when it’s time for you to take the floor.

Step 2 Keep it short and sweet.

  • It’s perfectly okay to give a short speech. Simply say a few kind words, raise a toast and hand back the microphone.
  • Speak slowly and deliberately. It’s easy to start chattering too fast when you’re nervous. By talking slower than you feel like you need to, you’ll probably be going at just the right speed.
  • People who are underprepared or extremely anxious tend to talk aimlessly. Avoid this by sticking to what you’ve written and look to the crowd for cues about when their attention is evaporating.

Step 3 Be sincere.

  • Take a moment to speak to the bride and/or groom directly.
  • It’s normal to get a little choked up! As long as you can finish your speech, there’s no need to worry. It may even be flattering, as it will show the people you’re talking about how much you truly care.

Step 4 Finish with a toast.

  • It’s customary for the best man or groomsmen to toast the bride, and the maid of honor to toast the groom.

Expert Q&A

Jenny Yi

Video . By using this service, some information may be shared with YouTube.

  • Keep quotes to a minimum, as other people's words can distract from what you're trying to say yourself. Thanks Helpful 2 Not Helpful 1
  • If you're stumped on how your speech should flow, approach it the way you would a story: give it a beginning, middle and end. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 1
  • Ask an honest, objective friend to give you feedback on your speech after you've finished writing it. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

how to write a grooms wedding speech

  • Never use a premade template you find on the internet to write a wedding speech. Your speech should be a product of your own unique thoughts, feelings and experiences. Thanks Helpful 6 Not Helpful 1
  • Don't drink too much before delivering your speech. Thanks Helpful 5 Not Helpful 1
  • Leave out especially embarrassing or offensive anecdotes. These are usually considered bad form. You're supposed to be honoring the married couple, not getting a laugh at their expense. Thanks Helpful 6 Not Helpful 3

You Might Also Like

Write a Speech Introducing Yourself

  • ↑ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2110745/Lost-words-Top-tips-write-winning-wedding-speech-deliver-like-pro.html
  • ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-toasting-tips-for-the-maid-of-honor
  • ↑ https://www.presentationmagazine.com/the-structure-and-etiquette-of-wedding-speeches-1041.htm
  • ↑ http://www.artofmanliness.com/2008/07/22/how-to-write-deliver-good-best-man-speech/
  • ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-toasting-tips-for-the-maid-of-honor/
  • ↑ https://finley-h.schools.nsw.gov.au/content/dam/doe/sws/schools/f/finley-h/localcontent/how_to_write_a_speech.pdf
  • ↑ https://mediacenter.toastmasters.org/2014-07-01-10-Tips-for-the-Perfect-Wedding-Toast

About This Article

Jenny Yi

To write a wedding speech, start by introducing yourself and explaining how you know the bride and groom. Then, share some fond memories, like stories from when you were kids or how you met. Next, offer well-wishes to the bride and groom, such as wishing them health, happiness, and prosperity. Alternatively, try opening with a joke or funny anecdote, but make sure that your remarks are appropriate for everyone in attendance. Finally, briefly thank everyone for coming and for making the celebration possible. For tips on how to memorize your speech so that it doesn’t sound rehearsed, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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Groom Speech Examples

The groom often gets a good roasting from the best man, so the groom’s speech is a chance to get in a few jokes of his own! As well as thanking the wedding party and both sets of parents, what all the guests are waiting for are some romantic and heartfelt words about his new spouse. You’ll find plenty of example groom speeches to help inspire you when the time comes to write yours, plus jokes and delivery tips.

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A Show Tune Reference Sealed the Deal

For Jill Rafson and Zach Miller, the worlds of New York theater and trucking made a surprisingly perfect match.

A bride and groom embrace and exchange a kiss outdoors. She is wearing a floor length white wedding dress and a veil that is blowing in the air. He is wearing a dark suit with a silver tie. There are deciduous trees in the background.

By Anna Grace Lee

When Zachary Ian Miller first met Jill Diane Rafson, he faced a tough question as a football fan: playoff game or second date?

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At the time, Ms. Rafson, 42, was in the process of interviewing for a new job after spending nearly 17 years at Roundabout Theatre Company, one of the largest nonprofit theaters in the United States. There, she was the associate artistic director and a founder of the Roundabout Underground program, which helped kick-start the careers of playwrights like Steven Levenson, who won a Tony Award for “Dear Evan Hansen.”

Over the years, she had been more focused on her career and used dating apps on and off. But in 2022, as the world reopened after pandemic lockdowns, her mind-set shifted and she decided to prioritize her personal life.

Mr. Miller, 38, who goes by Zach, caught her eye because his Hinge profile revealed a sense of humor. In one photo, he was drinking a “Yoda-tini,” a green cocktail in a martini glass decorated to look like Yoda from “Star Wars.” Ms. Rafson was charmed.

At the bar, their conversation flowed easily. Although Ms. Rafson had told virtually no one that she was interviewing for a job at Classic Stage Company, an Off Broadway theater company, she found herself telling Mr. Miller.

Mr. Miller, who is the director of metro region operations for the Trucking Association of New York, had never seen a Broadway play, nor was he familiar with the world of nonprofit theater. But he empathized with her excitement and uncertainty about the new job. She recalled that he said something to the effect of, “I’m sure the higher you rise in these organizations, the further away you get from the art that made you want to work in the business in the first place.”

Ms. Rafson was stunned. “I was like, who is this trucking guy with this insight into my inner debate about working in the arts and leadership?” she said. “It was just so insightful. And now I know that’s just who he is, but it really knocked my socks off that first date.”

It was the furthest thing from a “generic” first date, Mr. Miller said. They felt comfortable being themselves around each other, skipping over the basic small talk. “It was just a real deep conversation,” he said.

They planned for a second date, but there was one complication: Ms. Rafson had a tight schedule the next week and was free only on Saturday evening — and that was the night of two N.F.L. playoff games. Mr. Miller, who described himself as a “pretty big football fan,” had a momentary internal debate before realizing the answer was clear: “I would rather see her again.” That Saturday, they went on their second date at Dutch Fred’s, another bar in Midtown. It turned out to be the right call.

“Honestly, after that second date, I was just like, I’m pretty sure I’m going to marry her,” he said.

Binge more Vows columns here and read all our wedding, relationship and divorce coverage here .

For Ms. Rafson, that realization came on the fourth date. They were talking, and out of left field, he made a reference to a song from the musical “1776,” one of Ms. Rafson’s childhood favorites. Growing up in New City, N.Y., she would watch the movie version of the musical every Fourth of July. Mr. Miller watched the movie in middle school.

“I was like, who is this unicorn of a man?” she said. “Everything about him is a delight, and he’s got a musical in his back pocket. That was it for me.”

They grew closer over the next few months, connecting over their shared sense of humor and passion for their work. She brought him to see theater. He taught her about the trucking and traffic issues in the city, such as congestion pricing, and converted her to a Mets and Jets fan. (Reflecting on the second date-versus-playoff-game dilemma, Ms. Rafson said: “I had no idea what he was sacrificing. Now I fully understand.”)

About a month into dating exclusively, Ms. Rafson invited Mr. Miller to the opening night of “English” by Sanaz Toossi, a production that she developed with Roundabout and the Atlantic Theater Company. (It went on to win the Pulitzer Prize for Drama.) When she told her colleagues that she had invited him to the show, where he would meet them and other people in her life, they knew the romance was the real deal.

A few months later, Ms. Rafson met his parents, who live in Rego Park, Queens, where he grew up. She recalled how warm his mother was from the get-go. “She was like, ‘I’m just going to start calling you my daughter-in-law now,’” she said.

In June, Ms. Rafson started her new role as the producing artistic director of Classic Stage Company. But before that, the two took a trip to Saugerties, N.Y., where they stayed in an Airbnb and talked about marriage. They found that they were both on the same page, and planned the next steps of their future together. For Thanksgiving, the couple went to visit her parents in Florida. By the end of the year, they were living together in Brooklyn.

Mr. Miller had the stone from her grandmother’s engagement ring reset into a new ring. In March 2023, he planned a surprise proposal at their favorite bookstore in Brooklyn Heights, Books Are Magic.

In a scheme so illogical he was sure it would tip her off, he suggested that they stop by the bookstore between an event at Classic Stage Company in Manhattan and a trip to Westchester, N.Y., where they were planning to watch her 12-year-old goddaughter perform in “Aladdin Jr.” He told her that he wanted to buy a new book for a separate upcoming trip, and that they could find a gift for her godchildren, too. When they walked into the store, Ms. Rafson asked what kind of book he was looking for. He said, “Fiction.”

Just as she was about to make fun of him for giving such a broad response, she spotted a book nestled among the fiction offerings that was unlike the others: It had their faces on it.

Mr. Miller had made a photo book and asked the booksellers to put it on the shelf. He picked it up and got down on one knee. The rest, Ms. Rafson recalled, was a blur of enthusiastic nodding. They never made it to “Aladdin Jr.,” but they made a video call to Ms. Rafson’s goddaughter, who understood and was thrilled.

They were married on Jan. 13 at Le Chateau, a wedding venue in South Salem, N.Y., in front of about 150 guests. Kristopher Jansma, a friend of Ms. Rafson’s from college who is ordained by American Marriage Ministries, officiated.

Ms. Rafson has a bachelor’s degree in writing seminars and film and media studies from Johns Hopkins University, and a graduate certificate in fund-raising management from Boston University.

Mr. Miller graduated from Hofstra University with a bachelor’s in business administration. He was named one of the 2023 Responsible 100 , a list of socially responsible leaders in New York curated by the media organization City & State.

During the wedding ceremony, which was held around sunset, the couple read their own vows. “For so long, I thought I knew what happiness felt like,” Ms. Rafson said. “But you unlocked bonus levels that I didn’t even know existed.”

In Mr. Miller’s vows, he said, “I do apologize for turning you into a Mets and Jets fan, but dramaturgically , it was inevitable.” Then he joked, “Did I use that right?”

He has now seen 15 Broadway shows and all of Ms. Rafson’s productions, so many times that she calls him her “unofficial understudy.” These days, she has even got him humming.

On This Day

When Jan. 13, 2024

Where Le Chateau, South Salem, N.Y.

Handmade Ketubah Ms. Rafson’s friend, the actor and artist Ali Rose Dachis, made a hand-painted ketubah for the ceremony, featuring the Brooklyn Bridge and the New York City skyline.

Original Music The composer and lyricist Adam Gwon, also a friend of Ms. Rafson’s, wrote and performed an original song called “What Happens Is…” for the father-daughter dance. The song was based on a conversation he had earlier with Ms. Rafson and her father, in which Mr. Gwon asked her father for advice on marriage. The song “talked about how when you stumble upon something great, you hold on to it,” Ms. Rafson said.

A Theatrical Twist of Fate The groom’s father shares his name with the playwright Arthur Miller. “I always tell him, this would have been wasted if you had not found a woman in the theater,” Ms. Rafson said.

Anna Grace Lee is a reporting fellow on the Styles desk at The Times. More about Anna Grace Lee

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  5. Groom Speech Examples And Writing Tips For 2022 (+ Free Template)

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COMMENTS

  1. The Groom Speech: What to Write, Say & Do

    / Planning Advice The Groom Speech: Here's What to Write, Say & Do All your burning groom's speech questions—answered. Cheers! Molly Lichten Photography by Jessica Estrada Updated Jul 25, 2021

  2. Groom Speech Examples And Writing Tips (+ Free Template)

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  3. How to Write The Perfect Groom's Speech (With Examples)

    A groom's speech should focus on thanking everyone who has helped make the wedding day special including the mother and father of the bride (or equivalent), the guests, his own parents, the best man, the bridesmaids, ushers, and anyone else who has contributed to the wedding.

  4. 12 Groom Speech Tips: How to Make a Killer Groom's Speech

    How to Write a Groom's Speech? What Does the Groom Say in His Speech? How Long Should the Groom's Speech be? 12 Groom's Wedding Speech Tips So here are our top tips on giving a wedding speech, but we've also put together a handy video for wedding speech-givers in a hurry!

  5. Top 10 Groom Speech Examples

    Bookmark Share The great thing about the groom's speech is that it's generally one of the easiest to write. You don't need to stress about making everyone laugh like the best man or worry about whether your words are heartfelt enough, like the father of the bride.

  6. Everything to Know About Your Groom Speech

    Groom's Wedding Speech Tips If you're feeling like you can't possibly add another task to your pre-wedding to-do list, remember that writing your speech shouldn't take long at all. "You...

  7. How to Write a Wedding Speech: Your Easy Step-by-Step Guide

    How to Write a Wedding Speech Wedding Speech Example Wedding Speech Tips How to Write a Wedding Speech Writing your wedding speech is no easy feat. To help ensure things go as smoothly as possible, we tapped into Renée Dalo, owner of Moxie Bright Events in Los Angeles, California. Below, she shares a step-by-step guide. Brainstorm a great opening.

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    "You'll lose them if you do this." Introduce Yourself After your opener, introduce yourself, says Fallon Carter, a wedding planner, even designer, and professional speaker. "A lot of times,...

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    The groom's wedding speech is often about covering all bases. It doesn't have the bravado and general LOLs of a best man speech, the gushing and poignant words of a bridesmaid speech, or all the nostalgia and tear-jerking words of a father of the bride or groom speech.Instead, a groom's speech is half admin, half emotion; kind of like an Oscar acceptance!

  10. 8 Tips for How to Write a Groom's Speech

    Speak loudly and slowly. Use a microphone. Don't try to memorize your speech and don't read it from your phone. Instead, print a copy of your speech and read from the paper while making natural eye contact throughout your delivery. Keep hand gestures to a minimum. If you mess up a line, don't apologize.

  11. How To Write Your Wedding Speech (Grooms' Edition)

    1. Say thank you If you're part of a couple made up of a bride and groom, it's likely you'll be the second speech of the evening as it's tradition for the groom's speech to follow the father of the bride's. In this case, you may want to start by thanking him for his kind words - and, of course, raising his wonderful daughter! Psst!

  12. How to Write a Perfect Wedding Speech

    First off, it's important to make sure that the couple definitely wants you to give a toast at their celebrations. Traditionally, the maid of honor, best man, and parents of the couple will give ...

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    1/14 Best Wedding Speeches Writing a wedding speech can seem daunting, but with some preparation and guidance, you can deliver a heartfelt and memorable speech that will be cherished by the newlyweds and their guests. Good evening, everyone.

  14. Groom Wedding Speech Guide with Examples| TopWeddingSites.com

    Thank your new father-in-law; make a funny joke. Thank your bride's family, for their warm welcome. Thank your family for their love and support; add a funny anecdote about your childhood. Thank the bridesmaids, praise their beautiful appearance, and give a toast. Thank your best man; add a funny (clean) story.

  15. Writing the Groom's Speech: The Ultimate Guide to Your Wedding Toast

    Simple structure: The Groom's speech typically follows a very simple structure, starting with an opening thank you and acknowledgment of the Bride, followed by a brief anecdote or two, possibly about wedding planning (and how much or little you've had to do with it), and ending with a toast to the future.

  16. Groom Speech Structure

    1. Start Never mind 'how' you'll write your speech, worry about 'when'. Start soon, ideally two months before the wedding. Do not be tempted to put off writing until you're hit by divine inspiration (it rarely strikes) and do not get side-tracked by table plans or biscuits.

  17. How To Write A Wedding Speech: The Ultimate Guide For Do's, Don'ts, and

    If you're finding it difficult to come up with anything, a useful approach for how to write a wedding speech is to think of 3 positive defining traits or qualities of the bride or groom and recount three stories or examples that illuminate a time they exhibited these traits. These stories could be comedic, heartwarming, or both.

  18. The Groom's Speech: The Ultimate Guide to Making Your Speech

    The groom traditionally thanks and leads toasts to the following in his speeches: The father of the bride (or the equivalent person in that role). The groom should thank them for their speech on behalf of himself and his new wife or husband. The guests. The groom should thank the guests for coming to celebrate their day.

  19. How to write a Groom's wedding speech

    · Welcome everyone, and thank them for coming · Thank specific people involved in the wedding. · Share a personal anecdote or story about your wedding planning journey, or relationship. · Share how you feel about your spouse. · Thank everyone for coming again and let guests know any information the venue has given you.

  20. HOW TO WRITE A MEMORABLE GROOM SPEECH

    Traditionally, the wedding reception is home to several speeches from the wedding party and the bride and groom's parents. It's a time to celebrate the new marriage and share stories of fond memories of the couple. Your groom speech is a chance to share how much you love your bride, but writing the groom's speech can be daunting for those who haven't attended several weddings this year ...

  21. How to Write A Killer Bride or Groom Wedding Speech

    Thank all of your guests for coming, thank your wedding party for supporting you, thank out-of-towners for making the trek, thank your parents for all their love, thank your new spouse's parents for welcoming you into the family, thank special people who made the day possible, thank vendors, THANK THEM ALL! Or, y'know, thank who you want to ...

  22. HOW TO WRITE A GROOM SPEECH IN 2023

    HOW TO WRITE A GROOM SPEECH IN 2023 BY PROFESSIONAL SPEECH WRITERS, SPEECHY Writing a groom speech is challenging, among the dozens of other things you need to do on the day of your wedding. But, a great speech is still the ultimate accessory. We asked the wedding speechwriting team at Speechy for their advice on how to write a modern groom speech.

  23. How to Write a Wedding Speech: 13 Steps (with Pictures)

    Remember, the focus of your speech is the married couple. 2. Open with a joke. Start by telling a joke or recalling a humorous anecdote to loosen up the crowd (and yourself. Humor is very disarming, so getting everyone laughing right off the bat can help dispel some of the nerves of giving a speech.

  24. Groom Speech Examples

    "I Consider Myself the Luckiest Man" - Groom Speech by David "Additionally, sending his apologies today is Amy's cat, Marvin. Marv is unable to attend such a busy event due to ongoing anxiety issues stemmed from his feuds with the 'Black Cat' but he wishes us a purrrrrfect day". By hitched.co.uk, 23/04/2020 Groom Speech Examples Speech by Will

  25. A Show Tune Reference Sealed the Deal

    During the wedding ceremony, which was held around sunset, the couple read their own vows. "For so long, I thought I knew what happiness felt like," Ms. Rafson said. "But you unlocked bonus ...