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20 Self-Love Books That Will Lift You Up

Words of wisdom for your soul.

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The Self-Love Experiment by Shannon Kaiser

The Self-Love Experiment by Shannon Kaiser

This book literally has "self-love" in the title, so you know it's good. By using her own experiences, Kaiser unveils key tactics that lead you to be comfortable with accepting and loving yourself first  in order to reach success.

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown

Through candid storytelling , Brown—one of Oprah's favorite authors —offers this revolutionary guide to improving self-esteem as she teaches that accepting imperfection leads to cultivating self-worth.

Badass Affirmations by Becca Anderson

Badass Affirmations by Becca Anderson

Reciting daily affirmations can have a positive impact on your life., which is something Becca Anderson understands. Badass Affirmations is filled with wisdom and powerful sayings to encourage readers on their journey to self-discovery. 

The Self-Care Solution by Jennifer Ashton, M.D., M.S.

The Self-Care Solution by Jennifer Ashton, M.D., M.S.

Written by  Dr. Jennifer Ashton , the chief medical correspondent for ABC News, this self-care guide offers realistic monthly challenges—think: doing cardio in May, upping your stretching game in November, drinking water in June (done!), taking more steps in July, and committing to laughter in December—to help you rejigger your life in a way that's actually doable. All of these experiments are led by Dr. Ashton, who talks the reader through her own experiences trying them herself, including the science-backed benefits and struggles she faced. So, it's like you've got a friend joining you as you try to reach achievable goals, while she cheers you along.

The Wisdom of Sundays by Oprah Winfrey

The Wisdom of Sundays by Oprah Winfrey

Oprah highlights poignant and powerful insights from her SuperSoul Conversations with folks like Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, and Brene Brown to inspire you to find the beauty in your everyday life.

Radical Self-Love by Gala Darling

Radical Self-Love by Gala Darling

Gala Darling uses her own failures and shortcomings to help readers bounce back from rejection, depression, career setbacks, and heartbreak. Coupled with bright illustrations and homework exercises, it's a great reference to have nearby when you need a reminder of how special you really are. 

Braving the Wilderness by Brené Brown

Braving the Wilderness by Brené Brown

You may know Brené Brown from her popular  TED Talk   on vulnerability, her bestsellers  Rising Strong  and Daring Greatly,  and her appearances with Oprah on  SuperSoul Sunday . In her latest book, the social scientist unpacks the reasons we all truly just want to feel like we belong. 

What a Time to Be Alone by Chidera Eggerue

What a Time to Be Alone by Chidera Eggerue

Dubbing herself "The Slumflower," Eggerue uses charming candor, and even her own original artwork, to emphasize the fact that being alone can sometimes be the best thing you can do for yourself. Seriously.

You are a Badass by Jen Sincero

You are a Badass by Jen Sincero

Much like its memorable title, this self-love book works to help you strengthen your confidence and fully embrace your best self.

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

In Big Magic , beloved  Eat Pray Love  author Elizabeth Gilbert demystifies the alchemy of connecting and engaging with the creativity inside all of us. 

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön

Written in the aftermath of a devastating divorce, American Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön explores the ways in which the most difficult and painful moments in our lives can lead us to profound growth and transformation.

Into the Magic Shop by James R. Doty, MD

Into the Magic Shop by James R. Doty, MD

Part-memoir and part-science, Stanford neurosurgeon James R. Doty's manages to also be inspirational as he explores the relationship between the heart and mind. 

Money Diaries by Lindsey Stanberry

Money Diaries by Lindsey Stanberry

Based on Refinery29's series of the same name , this personal finance guide not only offers insight into how other people spend, it also includes useful budgeting tips from financial advisers. This way y0u can ensure your finances are getting a little love, too. 

Becoming Wise: An Inquiry into the Mystery and Art of Living by Krista Tippett

Becoming Wise: An Inquiry into the Mystery and Art of Living by Krista Tippett

Krista Tippett, a Peabody winner and host of the life's questions podcast On Being , continues to dig into what it all means in this New York Times best-selling self-love read. 

Surprised by Joy by C.S. Lewis

Surprised by Joy by C.S. Lewis

In his memoir, Chronicles of Narnia author and prolific Christian scholar C.S. Lewis details his journey from a misanthropic youth to an unexpected return to faith later in his life—with great humor and wit.  

Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis

Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis

From the author of bestseller,  Girl, Wash Your Face , comes this equally inspiring call for all women to stop letting their ties to others define them and instead to follow their own dreams—and stop apologizing for it.

The Course of Love by Alain De Botton

The Course of Love by Alain De Botton

In this novel, Alain de Botton—the philosopher who founded the global emotional intelligence organization  The School of Life —explores the oft-overlooked story of what happens after you fall in love through the lives of a modern couple in Edinburgh. 

A Field Guide to Getting Lost by Rebecca Solnit

A Field Guide to Getting Lost by Rebecca Solnit

Writer, historian, and activist Rebecca Solnit takes readers on her own cultural journey in a collection of autobiographical essays.

Perfect Is Boring by Tyra Banks and Carolyn Landon

Perfect Is Boring by Tyra Banks and Carolyn Landon

Mama knows best! The former supermodel and her mother, Carolyn Landon, take turns sharing lessons they've learned over the years, like the importance of embracing flaws and imperfections. The self-love book is an honest and often times hilarious dialogue between the mother and daughter. 

Pretty Happy by Kate Hudson

Pretty Happy by Kate Hudson

Even if you're not struggling with body image issues, Pretty Happy features a variety of life-affirming advice for anyone who needs to change their perspective. Actress-turned-author Kate Hudson gives tips on how to build confidence and be a happier you. 

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McKenzie Jean-Philippe is the editorial assistant at OprahMag.com covering pop culture, TV, movies, celebrity, and lifestyle. She loves a great Oprah viral moment and all things Netflix—but come summertime, Big Brother has her heart. On a day off you'll find her curled up with a new juicy romance novel.

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18 Best Self-Love Books to Help You Heal and Feel Confident

Because everyone's self-esteem needs a little tune-up every now and then.

self help books

Fortunately, if you're getting down on yourself, there are ways you can pump up the self-love . Therapy can help, as can instituting and following a healthy lifestyle like getting regular exercise and eating a balanced and healthful diet. But some of us (especially the bookworms in the crowd) can also benefit from reading books about self-love that reassure you that you're worth it. Below, you'll find some of the best picks on the market to help you heal, find your voice and really learn how to love yourself . These are different from the best self-help books , but you'll see some common themes.

And once you've added these to your TBR pile, there's lots more where that came from. Try one of our favorite relationship books if yours needs a little TLC, books about friendship to remind yourself why we all need BFFs, or our feel-good book club for a warm hug in book form.

The Dial Press Untamed by Glennon Doyle

Untamed by Glennon Doyle

No self-love book list would be complete without the powerhouse Glennon Doyle. This is a memoir about how one woman started living unapologetically for herself and in so doing, showed her children and the world around her how to be authentically alive — and it's also a rallying cry to help you do the same.

Keep Moving by Maggie Smith

Keep Moving by Maggie Smith

This guided journal from the poet and memoirist Maggie Smith comes out of her own writing practice that helped remind her to be gentle with herself, especially during hard times. As Smith puts it, “I wasn’t offering wisdom from on high; I was talking to myself at the bottom of a dark well, trying to climb up into the light, little by little, day by day.”

The Body Is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor

The Body Is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor

Activist and poet Sonya Renee Taylor offers ways to understand the origins and liberate yourself from body-shame. Model Tess Holliday said the book, "Is essential reading for those of us who crave understanding and those who are already on the path to learning how beautiful and complex our bodies are."

RELATED: 50 Best Self-Care Ideas for Mental and Physical Wellbeing

Simon & Schuster Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes

Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes

If the subtitle to this one doesn't make you want to read it, nothing we say is going to either. But if the brain that brought us Grey's Anatomy (among many others) can spend a year saying yes, the rest of us can definitely learn a thing or two from this recounting of what happened when she did.

The Change Guidebook by Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

The Change Guidebook by Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

This book isn't about quick fixes, empty platitudes or easy solutions. It's about setting yourself on a path toward changing — because if there's one thing that's certain in this world, it's uncertainty. It's for anyone who wants to embrace self-love, in everything that embodies.

Untangle by Angela McKinney

Untangle by Angela McKinney

It's so easy to get stuck in survival mode, just getting through one day, then the next, then the next, on and on until forever. This collection of lessons, reflections and exercises helps you break out of unhelpful patterns and get started on the path toward our best selves.

Chronicle Books Pretty Sure You're Fine by David Veinna

Pretty Sure You're Fine by David Veinna

If you're the kind of person who's convinced you have a brain tumor every time you get a headache (guilty as charged) this book will help you dial that down and remind yourself that you're just fine as you are.

Ulysses Press The Self-Love Workbook by Shainna Ali, PhD

The Self-Love Workbook by Shainna Ali, PhD

Boost your self-esteem, realize (and embrace) your worth and learn how to identify and enact goals that are uniquely yours with this insightful workbook. It's got interactive activities, actionable advice and thoughtful prompts to help lead you down the path toward self-love.

You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero

You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero

World-famous life coach Jen Sincero offers how-to tips on ending self-sabotage and designing a life that you want. If you like Sincero's style of advice, you can move on to You Are A Badass Every Day , or You Are A Badass at Making Money .

The Self-Love Experiment by Shannon Kaiser

The Self-Love Experiment by Shannon Kaiser

If you're new to the idea of self-love and need a road map to follow, Shannon Kaiser's 15 principles of self-love will get you started down the right path. Kaiser is an international life coach and speaker who was named one of the "top 100 women to watch in wellness" by Mind Body Green .

Start Where You Are by Meera Lee Patel

Start Where You Are by Meera Lee Patel

This interactive journal offers exercises that'll help you determine where you are in your self-love journey and guide you along the way. Find uplifting prompts like, "List five things that always, and immediately, bring a smile to your face." Go ahead, treat yourself to a fancy new pen for writing in it.

How to Love Yourself (and Sometimes Other People) by Lodro Rinzler & Meggan Watterson

How to Love Yourself (and Sometimes Other People) by Lodro Rinzler & Meggan Watterson

So often our self-worth gets wrapped up in our romantic relationships. The writers of this book, who studied Christian mysticism and Buddhism respectively, offer a spiritually-focused way to untangle the two.

I Heart Me by David R. Hamilton, PhD

I Heart Me by David R. Hamilton, PhD

If you're more of a facts-and-figures person, check out this book by David R. Hamilton, a scientist who worked in the pharmaceutical industry for four years before becoming interested in the biology of self-love. He delved into biochemistry and neuroscience research and developed 27 exercises meant to reprogram the brain.

Radical Self-Love by Gala Darling

Radical Self-Love by Gala Darling

Gala Darling has been teaching self-love for more than a decade, and she's put her findings into a book that comes with homework assignments to keep you accountable for your own self-love goals. Before the book, she was one of the co-founders of The Blogcademy , so she also offers insights into her path to success.

Unfu*k Yourself by Gary John Bishop

Unfu*k Yourself by Gary John Bishop

If you need your advice in more of the hard-talk, straight-truth mode, author Gary John Bishop pulls no punches when telling you how to get out of your own way. Bishop, who grew up in Glasgow, Scotland, describes his brand of self-help as more of an "urban philosophy" approach.

Beautiful You by Rosie Molinary

Beautiful You by Rosie Molinary

This book gives you one small thing to do each day — Keep a master list of joys! Stop comparing yourself to others! — that, taken together, make up a 365-day plan for self-love. Each task is quick, so you have no excuse not to work on yourself.

Becoming Whole by Bruce Alan Kehr, MD

Becoming Whole by Bruce Alan Kehr, MD

Bruce Alan Kehr, M.D., an award-winning psychiatrist who's been in practice for 40 years, has seen it all throughout his career. His book focuses more on overcoming past pain as a way to build up your self-esteem.

Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini

Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini

That voice in your head, giving you all of your self-doubts? That's your inner mean girl, and author/speaker Melissa Ambrosini tells you how to get her to quiet down. And if Amrbosini's advice resonates with you, you can also check out her podcast , which covers topics like "Be Thankful for the Small Stuff" and "Choose Love and Joy."

Headshot of Marisa LaScala

Marisa (she/her) has covered all things parenting, from the postpartum period through the empty nest, for Good Housekeeping since 2018; she previously wrote about parents and families at Parents and Working Mother . She lives with her husband and daughter in Brooklyn, where she can be found dominating the audio round at her local bar trivia night or tweeting about movies.

Headshot of Lizz Schumer

Lizz (she/her) is a senior editor at Good Housekeeping , where she runs the GH Book Club, edits essays and long-form features and writes about pets, books and lifestyle topics. A journalist for almost two decades, she is the author of Biography of a Body and Buffalo Steel. She also teaches journalism as an adjunct professor at New York University's School of Professional Studies and creative nonfiction at the Muse Writing Center, and coaches with the New York Writing Room. 

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Sarah S. Davis

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The best self-love books help you to cultivate a long-lasting positive relationship with yourself. Embracing the concept of self-love means you’ll never be lonely, that Valentine’s Day is a 365-day holiday to celebrate a loving relationship with yourself, that you are enough, that you treat yourself with kindness and compassion while celebrating your quirks and imperfections.

In this list of the best books on self-love and healing, you’ll find a variety of books that help you discover more self-love for yourself, covering topics like loving yourself in a culture of damaging perfectionism, toxic misogyny, and unhealthy body expectations. And without further ado, the best-self love books for 2021 and beyond.

books about self love

The Body Is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor

From acclaimed poet and activist Sonya Renee Taylor, The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self Love is an empowering celebration of self-love focusing on body image. Taylor tells readers how to overcome and heal from the mind poison that is body shame. It’s nearly impossible to come away from Taylor’s manifesto without feeling kinder to yourself and more accepting of your body: the good and the “bad” both.

books about self love

Body Positive Power by Megan Jayne Crabbe

Instagram influencer Megan Jayne Crabbe brings a refreshing shot of candor in her body empowerment book Body Positive Power . Crabbe relates her painful history with disordered eating and unstable weight. Ultimately, Crabbe was able to reclaim her body and help others going through similar challenge. Body Positive Power is a call-to-arms for anyone who could do with a little more self-love in their lives…and isn’t that all of us?

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

An oldie but a goodie, Elizabeth Gilbert’s classic memoir Eat, Pray, Love helped popularize the quest for self-love. With her marriage in pieces and personal life in crisis, Gilbert felt a stirring call for a more fulfilling life, prompting a journey across the world — to Italy, India, and Indonesia — to find herself and restore some self-love. Gilbert’s vibrant prose and confessional honesty made her a role model for readers asking: is there something more?

books about self love

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown

Superstar self-help guru Brené Brown is leading a movement to take chances, be vulnerable, and embrace your imperfections on the way to self-love. Not sure where to start with this prolific author? Begin with The Gifts of Imperfection , Brown’s blueprint for readers who are challenged by accepting their imperfections. Through The Gifts of Imperfection , Brown offers actionable tips for replacing negative self-talk with self-love.

books about self love

Good Vibes, Good Life by Vex King

Lifestyle and wellness influencer Vex King’s debut book Good Vibes, Good Life helps you create and manifest the life you’ve always wanted to live, leaving hangups and doubt behind to blossom into your own best friend. King’s guide to converting self-hatred into self-love involves adopting positive routines, like meditation and mindfulness, and exploring your relationship to the Universe.

books about self love

Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body by Roxane Gay

After going through trauma and disordered eating, author-activist Roxane Gay takes a critical look at the diet-obsessed world we’re living in and fights back with a mighty call-to-arms for loving ourselves, no matter our flaws. Gay’s Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body is an analytical approach to dissecting our relationship to food, our bodies, and the critical culture in which we live, daring to question unhealthy appetites and instead get hungry for self-love.

Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur

Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur

In her debut poetry collection Milk and Honey , poet and phenomenon Rupi Kaur writes searing verse laced with a rallying cry to love ourselves more. Milk and Honey encourages readers to move past negative talk to ourselves and instead channel self-love. Told with poetic precision and sharp observation, Kaur’s unapologetically feminist and empowering verse helps readers redirect love from toxic relationships into a more loving one with ourselves.

books about self love

Perfect Is Boring by Tyra Banks and Carolyn Landon

Boring is one thing you can never accuse modeling star and CEO Tyra Banks of being. And in Perfect Is Boring , Banks and her mother, Carolyn Landon, dispel the myth that being perfect is, well, perfect. Banks honors the ten lessons Landon gave her to bolster self-love and let go of the obsession to be perfect. With chapters like “Embrace Your Beauty” and “Fix It or Flaunt It,” Banks and Landon have assembled an arsenal of actionable ways to be more loving to yourself.

the princess saves herself in this one cover

the princess saves herself in this one by amanda lovelace

Feminist poet amanda lovelace has penned some of the fiercest poems in modern times. In the princess saves herself in this one , lovelace kicks off her series Women Are Some Kind of Magic series, each of which dismantles the toxic culture of misogynistic society through the lens of fractured fairy tales. This collection of poems empowers women to break free of the perfect princess expectations spoon fed to women at a young age and instead love yourself.

books about self love

Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach

If you want to master self-love, you’re going to want to learn more about radical acceptance. This psychological concept is a core part of Dialectical and Behavior Therapy, or DBT, but Tara Brach makes it accessible for everyone in her bestselling book Radical Acceptance . Blending in teachings from Buddhism and guided meditations, Brach helps you overcome self-judgment and self-hatred by radical acceptance of who you are, flaws and everything.

Radical Self Love by Gala Darling

Radical Self-Love by Gala Darling

Motivational speaker and author Gala Darling shares her self-love wisdom in Radical Self-Love , an empowering roadmap that takes you from a place of personal scorn, shame, and judgment into a more loving relationship with yourself. This self-love book has a unique format, assigning readers homework and activities to make bolstering your self-love less of a mysterious concept and more of a practical and doable process. The result? A celebration of you.

books about self love

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff

The kindness movement isn’t just about being kind to other people. What’s often far harder is being kinder to yourself. In Self-Compassion , Kristin Neff reimagines the cult of self-esteem into the more powerful model of self-compassion. In Neff’s book, you’ll get plenty of exercises and takeaways tailor made for helping you get to a place of self-compassion and self-love, with detours into mindfulness and emotional resilience, among other core concepts.

books about self love

The Self-Love Experiment by Shannon Kaiser

The way to self-love can be a rocky road, but Shannon Kaiser shows the true path to loving ourselves in The Self-Love Experiment . Coach and speaker Kaiser has developed 15 principles that you can apply to living with more self-love. Kaiser’s “experiments” in areas like self-care, self-compassion, and self-trust will help bust bad thoughts and redirect some of the kindness you show others towards yourself on the way to a happier, more joyful life.

books about self love

Unfu*k Yourself by Gary John Bishop

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. When we target toxic thoughts towards ourselves, is it any surprise that our minds get fu*ked up? Gary John Bishop’s Unfu*k Yourself offers a way out of negative self energy by teaching readers seven assertions like “I am wired to win” and “I am relentless.” Bishop sets out to help you rewire your brain into a more self-loving tool for embracing your unique imperfections and just going for it.

books about self love

You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero

If you’ve ever doubted your greatness — and who hasn’t? — it’s time to pick up Jen Sincero’s wildly popular book, You Are a Badass . This self-help classic steers you through the negative habits and thoughts that hold you back from loving yourself. You Are a Badass is a frank, no-BS guide to acknowledging what’s great about you and all the ways you are, as the title says, a total badass. Reverse bad thinking and self doubt with Sincero’s micro-lessons on self-love in this unmissable read.

books about self love

What a Time to Be Alone by Chidera Eggerue

Last but definitely not least, Chidera Eggerue’s What a Time to Be Alone is an essential read for anyone looking to bring more self-love into their life. From the creative force behind the popular Slumflower blog , What a Time to Be Alone focuses on teaching readers that you are enough, that being alone can be just as if not more fulfilling than being in a relationship. While these might seem like radical concepts, Eggerue’s book gets to the heart of your self-doubt and helps you rewire to a better, more self-loving place.

Looking for more books on the topic of self-love and self-help?

Read more of our coverage of self-care and self-love:

  • “28 Sex Positive Books for Readers of All Ages”
  • “20 Self-Care Books for Anxious Times”
  • “10+ New Self-Help Books and How to Find More”

books about self love

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Want to get in on the #SelfCareSunday movement but not quite sure where to start?

Truth is, it's 2019 and self-love is cool—which means there are a TON of great self-love books that offer legit helpful and practice advice on how to build a positive relationship with yourself and your body.

And also because it's 2019, you don't even need to set foot in a brick-and-mortar shop anymore—not that you should feel any shame in your self-help game, but in case you're pressed for time or just don't feel like schlepping. Amazon did start as an online bookstore, after all. (Did everyone forget that??)

These 14 best self-love books, approved by mental-health experts (they know their stuff), will hit every note of the love-thyself spectrum you may be needing. Shop 'em, read 'em, then give yourself that much-needed hug.

Julie de Azevedo Hanks, PhD The Assertiveness Guide for Women

The Assertiveness Guide for Women

Standing up for yourself can often be easier said than done—that is, until you check out this read. Written by a therapist (who, btw, pulls from interactions with anonymous clients to provide tangible examples and evidence), this book will help you understand your attachment style . 

Plus, it explains how that attachment style can play a role in your ability to communicate and assert yourself in everyday life, says Liz Morrison,  LCSW, psychotherapist and group practice owner in New York City. 

Added bonus? Hanks' guide comes with a workbook so you can do "some tangible self-assessment," Morrison says. Self-love, self-improvement...it's all one big circle.

Elizabeth Gilbert Big Magic

Big Magic

If you couldn't get enough of  Eat, Pray, Love, then you're going to absolutely devour this bestseller also by author Elizabeth Gilbert. While these pages aren't packed with the same continental conquests, they offer just as much, if not more, inspiration, as Gilbert talks about her own processes for igniting her creativity and eliminating unnecessary pain and stress from her life. 

The result? "A helpful book for people who are looking to utilize creative coping strategies to help them feel better when they are feeling down," Morrison says. So...recent breakup? **Adds to basket.**

Gary Chapman The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

One of the many lessons in Gary Chapman's #iconic book is that, before you can have a positive relationship, you must understand and love yourself first. 

But how? Quite simply by pulling from the concepts of the five love languages , which help you identify how you give and receive love to others. Let's say your love language is Words of Affirmation—it's time to start engaging in positive self-talk and practicing daily mantras. 

By doing these two things, you begin to work on being kinder to yourself, which isn't always the easiest task, Morrison explains.

Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW Daring Greatly

Daring Greatly

Ah, the C word. Courage, of course! (Girl, get your mind out of that gutter.) And there's no one who knows it better than Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW. In this book in particular (she's published quite a few), Brown covers a range of topics from shame to empathy and compassion. All of which start from yourself.

But her main focus is on that scary thing called vulnerability. Namely, how—despite being so frightening—it's actually the way to get to new experiences and other positives like love, joy, and happiness. This empowering book will help you see how taking chances can truly be life-changing, Morrison says. 

Shawn Achor The Happiness Advantage

The Happiness Advantage

Society is quite the bossy pants, telling us what to do, how to act, and how to be happy. But hold up—what actually is happiness? Hint: It's up to you. 

By challenging society's definition of happiness, this book encourages you to see that you do not have to live a certain way, work a certain way, or act a certain way just because that’s what seems like the norm, Morrison says. 

Ready to become more of an independent thinker and love who you are for who you are (not who you think you're supposed to be)? Crack open this read, stat. 

Rosie Molinary Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance

Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance

You know all the ridic cultural expectations put on you to look a certain way. Well, you can say eff that with this guide—a year-long plan designed to improve self-confidence and ditch self-criticism.

The daily nuggets of truth make this book easily digestible, though you'll probably come across a few that really resonate and hit your heart hard. That's why people buy books, right...to fold the corners of important pages?

Jessica Abo Unfiltered: How to Be as Happy as You Look on Social Media

Unfiltered: How to Be as Happy as You Look on Social Media

As much as you love Instagram, it doesn't always love you back. "Social media can lead to people feeling insecure and competitive with one another," Morrison says, and you probably (definitely) know.

Enter Jessica Abo's debut book. This read will teach you how to avoid the "compare and despair" trap, ID what may really be making you unhappy, ditch toxic connections that chip away at your self-esteem, and build a more positive life. Sound good? Thought so.

Rebecca Scritchfield, RDN Body Kindness

Body Kindness

The premise of this book by a registered dietitian: Your body isn’t a number on the scale or a certain size—it’s the vehicle that allows you to spend time with loved ones, take adventures, and go after your goals. 

Rebecca Scritchfield, RDN, sets out to teach readers how to use food and movement to care for themselves—instead of turning to fad or deprivation diets.

Shonda Rhimes Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person

Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person

Books are all well and good, but it’s nice to see someone actually walk the walk. Case in point: Shonda Rhimes, who shares in her memoir what happened to her life when she decided to say "yes" to all the things that she was scared of for a year—and how it transformed how she felt about herself. Plus...it's Shonda Rhimes.

Meera Lee Patel Start Where You Are

Start Where You Are

It's hard to love yourself if you're not connected with who you are and what you really want. In addition to its mood-boosting colors and calligraphy,  Start Where You Are includes hands-on prompts and exercises that use concrete skills and thinking strategies to help you make progress on your personal goals, Morrison explains. "Plus, a book that has a component for a person to actually engage in a hands-on way can provide a greater sense of support." 

This interactive journal will help you take a deep dive into yourself to help pinpoint exactly what’s important to you . (If nothing else, it looks pretty on your nightstand.)

Gabrielle Bernstein Spirit Junkie

Spirit Junkie

Life coach Gabrielle Bernstein preached self-love before it was a buzzword. You’ll appreciate her contagious rah-rah attitude—and find practical solutions to shedding your self-doubt and other defeating mindsets. 

Shannon Kaiser The Self-Love Experiment

The Self-Love Experiment

If you know your current thought patterns and behaviors are so not working for you anymore, this self-love book is a practical guide to show you how to start appreciating yourself—and life—more. While 15 principles might sound like a lot to work through, consider what Morrison has to say: "Anything that has a list of some sort can be easier to follow and, in turn, to practice the skills offered." 

Alexis Jones I Am That Girl: How to Speak Your Truth, Discover Your Purpose, and #bethatgirl

I Am That Girl: How to Speak Your Truth, Discover Your Purpose, and #bethatgirl

Before Lizzo gave you the "that b*tch" anthem you never knew you needed, Alexis Jones was encouraging readers to be that girl.  

For all those times you second-guess yourself, this self-love book is here for you. The goal: to trust yourself more, let go of the banal rules of perfection, and be the best version of yourself. Yes, please! 

Gary John Bishop Stop Doing That $#!% Merch Ed: End Self-Sabotage and Demand Your Life Back

Stop Doing That $#!%  Merch Ed: End Self-Sabotage and Demand Your Life Back

You may know Gary John Bishop for his first bestseller, Unf*ck Yourself , which helps you silence the a-hole (sorry, clearly on a cursing spell now) critic in your head who's stopping you from achieving great things.

His latest book— Stop Doing That $#!% (another clutch name, no?)—goes one step further, by helping you spot the damaging habits that are keeping you stuck in a rut. This book teaches you to build self-trust, which comes from self-love, and vice versa.

And if the title didn't make this clear: Bishop's words are as relatable as you could possibly get for a self-love/self-help book. This one's a home bookshelf must-have for 2019, hands down.

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Jessica Migala is a health writer specializing in general wellness, fitness, nutrition, and skincare, with work published in Women’s Health, Glamour, Health, Men’s Health, and more. She is based in the Chicago suburbs and is a mom to two little boys and rambunctious rescue pup.

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20 Popular Books About Self Love, Worth & Healing

Updated 9/28/2023

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Kate Wight, BA in English

Contributing writer.

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Cake values integrity and transparency. We follow a strict editorial process to provide you with the best content possible. We also may earn commission from purchases made through affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more in our affiliate disclosure .

Self-love is an essential concept with which many people struggle. In the modern era, when social media allows us to get curated glimpses of other people’s lives, it’s easy to feel like you don’t measure up. The truth is many of us struggle with confidence and self-acceptance. Even the people who seem most assured often grapple with feelings of self-doubt. 

Jump ahead to these sections:

Popular books about self love for adults, popular books about self love for children, popular books about self love for young adults, popular books about self love after a death, breakup, or other loss.

Many people turn to therapy to help them gain confidence and learn self-love. But therapy isn’t always accessible to everyone. We’ve compiled a list of helpful books on the topic of self-love for people of all ages and stages.

It seems like times are changing more rapidly than ever. Just a few decades ago, the idea of self-love was a relatively foreign concept. As a result, we have a whole generation of adults riddled with anxiety and doubt. These books can help even the most cynical adult realize the value of self-love. 

1. The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown

books about self love

Brené Brown is a beloved self-help author known for her heartfelt writing style. The Gifts of Imperfection  encourages people to love themselves despite their perceived flaws and shortcomings. 

View Book on Amazon

2. Good Vibes, Good Life: How Self-Love Is the Key to Unlocking Your Greatness by Vex King

books about self love

Author Vex King overcame his difficult childhood thanks mainly to his positive attitude. He built up a large social media following thanks to his emphasis on “good vibes.” Good Vibes, Good Life  lays out a plan for people who want to cultivate positive lifestyle habits and embrace self-love. 

3. The Self-Love Workbook: A Life-Changing Guide to Boost Self-Esteem, Recognize Your Worth and Find Genuine Happiness by Shainna Ali Ph.D.

books about self love

This helpful workbook  is packed with tools to help you on your journey to self-love. Helpful advice, interactive activities, and reflection prompts help readers to build confidence and self-esteem.

View Book on Amazon  

4. Let That Sh*t Go: A Journal for Leaving Your Bullsh*t Behind and Creating a Happy Life by Monica Sweeney

books about self love

Who says self-love has to be serious? This cheeky journal takes a humorous approach to self-care.

5. Be Unapologetically You: A Self Love Guide for Women of Color by Adeline Bird

books about self love

Self-love is difficult for everyone. But it can be even more challenging for members of marginalized groups who face bias from external sources daily. This book is written for women of color to help them quiet those outside voices and truly love themselves.

When children are young, they are still trying to figure out where they fit into the world, emotionally speaking. It’s so important to provide them with a healthy foundation. Teaching your kids about self-love when they’re young can help them grow into more confident and resourceful adults. These books are a great introduction to self-love in the early years. 

6. I Am Enough by Grace Byers

books about self love

This beautifully-illustrated story  by actress and activist Grace Byers was inspired by bullying the author endured during her childhood. This New York Times bestselling book is a powerful yet gently told story about the importance of kindness and self-confidence.

7. I Like Me! by Nancy Carlson

books about self love

Carlson, an accomplished author and illustrator, has published over forty books for young children. She intends to help kids feel good about themselves as well as other people. In this book , a perky piglet enumerates all the good feelings she has about herself and provides a powerful role model for preschool-aged kids.

8. My Magical Choices by Becky Cummings

books about self love

Young children are still learning about the world. When some children encounter new experiences or tasks, they often get bogged down in negative feelings like fear. If your child shuts down in the face of something new,  My Magical Choices  can help guide them into making more confident choices instead of deciding they can’t do something new to them. 

9. Train Your Dragon to Love Himself: A Dragon Book to Give Children Positive Affirmations by Steve Herman

books about self love

This book  is part of a comprehensive series designed to help children process their feelings. In it, a child has an anxiety-ridden pet dragon who fears he’s not good enough. The child teaches the dragon to love himself for his exceptional and unique qualities. 

10. Listening with My Heart: A Story of Kindness and Self-Compassion by Gabi Garcia

books about self love

The protagonist of this book , a young girl named Esperanza, loves to spread joy and positivity in the world by being kind to others. But when things don’t go her way, she has a harder time being kind to herself. She uses a heart-shaped rock as a token to remind herself that kindness always matters. 

The teenage years can be incredibly fraught. Even the most self-possessed child can quickly flounder when teenage hormones and school social structures come into play. These books are a great way to help teens and young adults ground themselves and rediscover their confidence. 

11. Everything a Band-Aid Can’t Fix: A Teen’s Guide to Healing and Dealing With Life by Nicole Russell

books about self love

While Everything a Band-Aid Can't Fix  isn’t solely about self-love, it does deal with both the internal and external pressures that teenagers face today. It provides practical guidelines to help teens cope with new experiences and the feelings that may accompany them. Most importantly, it teaches teenagers that you can’t just slap a band-aid on a problem and hope it goes away—you have to dig deep.

12. Just As You Are: A Teen’s Guide to Self-Acceptance and Lasting Self-Esteem by Michelle Skeen PsyD and Kelly Skeen

books about self love

People of all ages tend to compare themselves to their peers—often unfavorably. These comparisons are especially prevalent in the teenage years. Teenagers can also develop unrealistic expectations about how they should look and behave from the media and pop culture. Just As You Are  helps teens free themselves from the standards that fuel their inner critics. 

13. The Self-Love Workbook for Teens: A Transformative Guide to Boost Self-Esteem, Build a Healthy Mindset, and Embrace Your True Self by Shainna Ali Ph.D.

books about self love

This helpful workbook  provides several valuable tools to help teens embark on their self-acceptance journey. It includes activities, reflective exercises, practical advice, and journaling prompts. Its ultimate goal is to help teens banish self-doubt and develop a healthy mindset that will serve them as they grow into adulthood. 

14. The Ultimate Self-Esteem Workbook for Teens: Overcome Insecurity, Defeat Your Inner Critic, and Live Confidently by Megan MacCutcheon LPC

books about self love

This supportive workbook  provides many useful resources, including journal prompts, quizzes, and checklists. All of which are designed to help teens set goals to improve their mental health. It also contains real-life anecdotes from other teens to help the reader feel more connected.

15. Badass Black Girl: Quotes, Questions, and Affirmations for Teens by M.J. Fievre

books about self love

Books about self-love for teenagers are usually geared toward a general audience. As such, they don’t often delve into the challenges faced by teens who are members of marginalized communities. However, young black women are at high risk for depression and anxiety and don’t always have their mental health needs met. Badass Black Girl   is specifically for empowering young black women who struggle with self-love.

Major life events can shake up even the most self-assured people. A bad breakup or a death in the family can make you feel like your very foundation is unsteady. It’s crucial to practice self-care while grieving a loss. These books can help you love yourself even during your worst hour.

16. After the Breakup: A Self-Love Journal: Prompts and Practices to Help You Get Over Your Ex by Lindsey Dortch Brock LCSW

books about self love

Many self-help books are geared toward a particular gender. This one is intended for anyone going through a breakup, regardless of gender or relationship type. Whether you initiated a breakup or were on the receiving end, After the Breakup  can help you rediscover your inner strength. 

17. Love Yourself First: How to Heal from Toxic People, Create Healthy Relationships & Become a Confident Woman by Krystle Laughter

books about self love

If you’ve endured multiple painful breakups, it’s often worthwhile to step back and see if you can identify any patterns. Many women end up in toxic relationships because they don’t value themselves. This book helps people learn the value of healing and self-love. 

18. After the Rain: Gentle Reminders for Healing, Courage, and Self-Love by Alexandra Elle 

books about self love

If you’ve endured multiple painful breakups, it’s often worthwhile to step back and see if you can identify any patterns. Many women end up in toxic relationships because they don’t value themselves. This book helps women learn the value of healing and self-love.

19. Rise Up: A Widow’s Journal: A Place To Gather and Reflect On Your Journey by Paula Harris

books about self love

The loss of a spouse is an incredibly challenging and personal life event. This journal is split into ten chapters that guide the reader through this uniquely painful process. It’s full of helpful quotes and writing prompts to help widows process their grief and rediscover how to love themselves along the way.

20. It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine

books about self love

Many self-help books encourage you to let go of your painful past in order to move on. Devine, a therapist who has also experienced profound personal loss, takes a different approach. In It's OK That You're Not OK , she makes room for the possibility of practicing self-love and rebuilding your life while grieving at your own pace instead of rushing to overcome it. 

The Inherent Value in Self Love

Learning to love yourself is easier said than done. But it is still a worthy goal to strive for. There’s a famous quotation by RuPaul that goes, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” Not everyone agrees that self-love is the first step to loving other people, but valuing and caring for yourself is still incredibly important. Not only can self-love help you build stronger and healthier relationships with other people, but it can also improve your quality of life and emotional well-being. 


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The 18 Best Self-Love Books You’ll Want to Read More Than Once

Right this way for a pep talk.

covers of glennon doyle 'untamed' and other self help books

Okay, hear me out: Some of the best company you can keep is yourself. That's right, you've gotta learn to be your own best friend and show yourself the love you would shower your bestie with, because as the great RuPaul says, "If you can't love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?" Self-love (or lack thereof) can have a big impact, making navigating your day-to-day sufficiently better than if you didn’t have true self-acceptance. I know, I know, it sounds corny, but it's true!

Now I also know that in a world of self-doubt, imposter syndrome, and having to navigate difficult situations that can leave us feeling, well, a little critical of ourselves, it's usually easier said than done to show ourselves a lil' self-love. But just like any skill, learning to love yourself and understanding where negative self-talk is coming from (and how to talk back to it!) is something you need to actively work on. If you need a hand in that area or just appreciate a good reminder, these self-love books are so inspiring that you’ll actually want to reread them (or lend them to your friends, because they could probably use a reminder, too).

The Gifts of Imperfection , by Brené Brown

Brené Brown is basically the reigning queen of self-help/self-love books, and this one in particular is all about learning to accept imperfections, especially during the times when we don't live up to the unattainable (and sometimes self-sabotaging) expectations we set for ourselves.

Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself , by Nedra Glover Tawwab

It's so easy to get caught up in the grind culture, putting in an exhausting amount of hours with work or school or parenting or whatever endeavor's in front of you. And then there's family obligations and friends, and suddenly you have no time for yourself. Well one of the best ways you can show yourself some love is by setting boundaries, giving you time to focus on you! Leaning to say "no" is hard, but this book can help you get there.

What a Time to Be Alone , by Chidera Eggerue

This book is all about how being alone is literally the best thing that can ever happen to you. It centers on how you decide your own self-worth and how to avoid toxic relationships. Plus, it features author Chidera Eggerue's original artwork. Who doesn’t love a well-designed, helpful book?

Don't Overthink It , by Anne Bogel

Overthinking seems uncontrollable, but author Anne Bogel is here to tell you that it's an act you can actually stop doing. In Don't Overthink It , she offers strategies to help you deal with indecisions and what-ifs both big and small.

How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t , by Andrea Owen

It's time to destroy your self-destructive behaviors. That means ditching people-pleasing, tuning out your inner critic, and holding back from catastrophizing. Through digestible chapters on bad habit awareness, you'll learn how to stop getting in your own way of happiness.

Buy Yourself the F*cking Lillies , by Tara Schuster

TV exec Tara Schuster gets brutally honest in this witty book about growing up–whether you’re in your 20s or 50s–and “learning to love yourself in a non-throw-up-in-your-mouth-it’s-so-cheesy way.” She shares the daily rituals that helped her re-parent herself and become a self-love expert.

The Self-Love Experiment , by Shannon Kaiser

Author Shannon Kaiser draws from her personal experience of learning to love herself and finding purpose after recovering from eating disorders, drug addictions, corporate burnout, and depression. It’s basically about learning how to put yourself first, which, FYI, isn’t selfish!

Unfiltered by Jessica Abo

Award-winning journalist and speaker Jessica Abo goes all-in on our complicated relationship with social media. She reminds us that our happiness IRL is more important than the way we portray ourselves online, and offers tools to avoid the "compare and despair trap."

Be That Unicorn , by Jenny Block

What little kid didn't want to be a unicorn at some point? I mean, they're beautiful and magical and downright cool. Well, this book is all about letting your inner magic shine so you can be a unicorn . If you could do with some encouragement to just be yourself and, most importantly, believe in yourself, then you'll want to grab a copy.

Badass Affirmations: The Wit and Wisdom of Wild Women , by Becca Anderson

Sometimes we don't need to read multiple chapters of a book to change our perspective on ourselves. Sometimes an empowering affirmation that we repeat throughout the day will do the trick.

Untamed , by Glennon Doyle

Jam-packed with life lessons, Glennon Doyle’s memoir boils down to abandoning the world’s expectations of you. It’s about fully embracing every aspect of your life to live totally free as a woman in the modern world.

You Were Born for This , by Chani Nicholas

Astrologer Chani Nicholas takes you through three foundational parts of your birth chart in this page turner that essentially tells you to stop looking outside of yourself for validation, and embrace self-acceptance. To achieve that, it features journal prompts, reflection questions, and affirmations tailored to your astrological makeup.

You Are a Badass , by Jen Sincero

In 27 super short chapters, bestselling author Jen Sincero offers inspiring stories, solid advice, and simple exercises to help you get a grip on one thing: You are a badass. By the end of the how-to guide, you'll understand yourself better, love what you can't change, and know how to alter what you can change.

Big Magic , by Elizabeth Gilbert

Big Magic focuses on self-love through creativity. In it, author Elizabeth Gilbert dives into the nature of inspiration. She encourages readers to tackle what they most love and let go of any fears, all while nurturing curiosity and smothering needless suffering.

Unf*ck Yourself , by Gary John Bishop

''Here's what you've forgotten: You're a fu*king miracle of being,'' Gary John Bishop writes in this straightforward handbook that centers on moving past self-imposed limits. You’re the only one standing in the way of getting or doing what you want.

The Body Is Not an Apology , by Sonya Renee Taylor

Body shaming is fueled by oppressive systems that activist and poet Sonya Renee Taylor suggests we not only overcome, but totally interrupt. It focuses on self-love in relation to our bodies and spreading it on a global scale.

Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes

The great Shonda Rhimes, who brought us Grey's Anatomy and many other incredible TV shows. spent a year saying yes to everything that scared her. In this memoir, she shares her experiences in that year that helped her love her truest self.

Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis

Maybe you should apologize when, say, you break your roommate's irreplaceable mug. But when it comes to being yourself and living your full potential, don't apologize for it. In this book, author Rachel Hollis challenges women to go for what they want and believe in themselves without remorse.

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Kelly Allen is the current Associate Editor at House Beautiful , where she covers design, pop culture, and travel for digital and the print magazine. She’s been with the team for nearly three years, attending industry events and covering a range of topics. When she’s not watching every new TV show and movie, she’s browsing vintage home stores, admiring hotel interiors, and wandering around New York City. She previously worked for Delish and Cosmopolitan . Follow her on Instagram .

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The common theme among these books is self-love, acceptance, and personal growth. They encourage readers to embrace their unique qualities, overcome negative self-talk, and cultivate a healthy relationship with themselves and others. Many of these books explore the journey of healing from toxic relationships and finding self-love through poetry, prose, and practical exercises. They also provide guidance on how to prioritize one's own needs and desires, practice self-care, and achieve lasting weight loss. Overall, these books offer tools for living a positive life filled with love, compassion, and mindfulness.

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November 14, 2023

Best Books About Self-Love: Top Picks for Personal Growth

Beautiful You , Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance , Big Magic , Brené Brown , Elizabeth Gilbert , Gary Chapman , Gary John Bishop , Good Vibes Good Life , How To Love Yourself Cards , Jen Sincero , Louise Hay , Louise L. Hay , Matthew A. Cherry , Meera Lee Patel , Milk and Honey , Norman Vincent Peale , Pema Chödrön , Rosie Molinary , Rupi Kaur , Shannon Kaiser , Shonda Rhimes , Sonya Renee Taylor , Start Where You Are , The Body Is Not An Apology , The Gifts of Imperfection , The Power of Positive Thinking , The Self-Love Experiment , Unf*ck Yourself , Vex King , Year of Yes , You Are a Badass , You Can Heal Your Life

In today’s fast-paced and highly competitive world, practicing self-love is more crucial than ever. Embracing and nurturing one’s own being can positively impact mental health, boost self-esteem, and promote healthy personal relationships. Reading well-written books about self-love can be an excellent way to start this extraordinary journey.

A wide variety of books on the subject explore different aspects of self-love, from embracing imperfections to setting healthy boundaries. These books provide valuable insights and practical guidance to help individuals recognize their self-worth and embrace a fulfilling and balanced life.

Our selection of the best books about self-love will delve into different perspectives, ensuring that readers of diverse backgrounds and experiences can find the inspiration they need. These gems are packed with valuable lessons and are ready to provide motivation and guidance for those seeking personal growth.

Understanding Self-Love

Self-love is a crucial aspect of personal development and well-being. It encompasses the belief in one’s own worth and capabilities, leading to a strong sense of self-esteem and self-acceptance. When individuals practice self-love, they hold themselves in high regard and prioritize their own happiness and fulfillment.

Developing self-love often begins by focusing on self-care. This involves treating oneself with kindness and respect, catering to both physical and emotional needs. By cultivating healthy habits, such as exercising, eating well, and engaging in meaningful hobbies, individuals build a foundation of self-compassion.

Confidence plays a significant role in self-love. When individuals trust their own abilities and judgment, they become better equipped to face challenges and setbacks. By cultivating this confidence, they experience increased self-worth and learn to appreciate their unique qualities.

Happiness is closely tied to self-love. Engaging in self-compassionate practices helps individuals maintain a positive mindset, encouraging them to find joy in their accomplishments and learn from their mistakes. This, in turn, promotes a sense of well-being and contentment.

In conclusion, understanding self-love is essential to achieving personal growth and satisfaction. By embracing self-acceptance, caring for oneself, and nurturing self-esteem and happiness, individuals can unlock their full potential and enjoy a deeper, more meaningful life.

Exploring Self-Love Through Literature

The self-love experiment.

books about self-love

In “ The Self-Love Experiment ,” Shannon Kaiser offers insights and guidance to help readers embrace self-love. The book features personal stories and practical exercises to help readers foster self-care and overcome self-sabotaging thoughts. This is a great resource for those looking to improve their self-esteem, self-worth, and overall mindset.

The Gifts of Imperfection

Brené Brown’s “ The Gifts of Imperfection ” encourages readers to embrace their flaws and imperfections. With a focus on the concept of wholehearted living, this book emphasizes the importance of authenticity, vulnerability, and resilience. Brown’s wisdom empowers readers to cultivate courage and self-acceptance in their daily lives.

You Are a Badass

In “ You Are a Badass ,” Jen Sincero uses humor and wit to inspire readers to overcome self-doubt. Through personal anecdotes, Sincero provides practical advice on topics such as mastering self-worth and harnessing personal power. This book is an excellent choice for readers looking to gain confidence and achieve their goals.

The Body Is Not An Apology

Sonya Renee Taylor’s “ The Body Is Not An Apology ” promotes body positivity and self-love. With a focus on radical self-love and inclusivity, this book encourages readers to challenge societal standards of beauty and challenge negative self-beliefs. By emphasizing the importance of self-worth, Taylor empowers readers to transform their relationships with their bodies.

You Can Heal Your Life

Louise L. Hay’s “ You Can Heal Your Life ” teaches readers about the power of positive thinking and self-affirmations. With a focus on the mind-body connection, this book helps readers explore and alter negative thought patterns. By consistently practicing self-love, readers can foster physical, emotional, and spiritual healing.

Milk and Honey

Rupi Kaur’s “ Milk and Honey ” is a collection of poetry and prose, focusing on themes of love, loss, and healing. Kaur’s honest and heartfelt writings remind readers of the importance of self-care and self-worth. This book acts as a beautiful reminder to prioritize one’s own mental and emotional well-being.

The 5 Love Languages

With “ The 5 Love Languages ” by Gary Chapman, readers are encouraged to explore and understand the various ways individuals express and receive love. By understanding one’s own unique love language, a deeper awareness of self-love and self-care can emerge, cultivating fulfilling relationships.

Start Where You Are

“ Start Where You Are ” by Pema Chödrön centers on self-reflection and mindfulness, guiding readers on a journey of self-discovery. With interactive prompts, this book encourages personal growth, forgiveness, and self-acceptance, empowering readers to create meaningful change in their lives.

Beautiful You

“ Beautiful You ” by Rosie Molinary promotes a healthier self-image and a positive relationship with oneself. By encouraging readers to break free from negative self-talk and self-destructive behaviors, this book helps individuals cultivate a loving and compassionate relationship with themselves.

Personal Accounts and Memoirs

Year of yes.

“ Year of Yes ” is a memoir by television producer and writer Shonda Rhimes that shares her experiences and lessons learned as she embarks on a year-long journey to deliberately say “yes” to opportunities, experiences, and situations that expand her horizons. Rhimes imparts essential wisdom on how embracing vulnerability, facing fears, and stepping out of one’s comfort zone can lead to personal growth and self-love. The book is well-known for its thought-provoking content and inspiring message.

Unf*ck Yourself

“ Unf*ck Yourself ” by Gary John Bishop is a straightforward, no-nonsense guide to identifying mental blockers, becoming aware of our negative thought patterns, and transforming them into positive actions. Drawing on proven techniques and strategies, Bishop provides guidance on how to move past self-imposed limitations and tap into one’s full potential. His accessible and candid approach gives readers insights into developing their mindset and nurturing a healthy sense of self-love.

“ Hair Love ” is a beautiful illustrated children’s book by Matthew A. Cherry that promotes self-love and the power of embracing one’s unique features. The story revolves around a young girl and the relationship she has with her hair, as well as the bond between a father and daughter, celebrating diversity and encouraging readers to accept their authentic selves. The book is an excellent example of how personal accounts can teach self-love to readers, even in the form of a simple yet powerful story.

Each of these personal accounts and memoirs offers unique perspectives into the journey towards self-love and acceptance. By sharing their own experiences, the authors invite readers to reflect on their own lives and how they can foster self-love. Additionally, Louise L. Hay’s teachings on self-empowerment and motivation complement the lessons found in these works, further encouraging personal growth and a deeper understanding of the importance of nurturing self-love.

Empowerment through Self Acceptance

One vital aspect of self-love is empowerment through self-acceptance . This includes embracing imperfections, improving self-esteem, and incorporating daily practices to promote a healthy body image and mindset.

Embracing Imperfections

No one is perfect, and acknowledging this fact paves the way for the journey towards self-discovery. Accepting our quirks and flaws cultivates wisdom and compassion, reducing the feelings of anxiety and depression. The concept of the “inner mean girl” or “inner critic” can be addressed by transforming negative self-talk into positive affirmations that help heal our insecurities. Recognizing and celebrating imperfections is key to embracing our authentic selves.

  • Key Action: Replace self-sabotage with self-compassion.

Self-Care and Love Languages

Self-care is essential for bolstering self-esteem and promoting self-love. Activities including physical exercise, proper sleep, and a nutritious diet pave the way for a healthy body and mind. It’s also important to develop daily practices that nurture the soul, such as gratitude, journaling, and mindfulness.

Understanding individual love languages is crucial for our well-being and developing a stronger sense of self. Here are the five primary love languages:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Acts of Service
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch

Identifying one’s love language can help find the best ways to practice self-care, ensuring optimal emotional health.

  • Key Action: Dedicate time to explore personal love languages and integrate them into daily routines.

This approach to self-acceptance can provide tools for those dealing with drug addiction, eating disorders, and other mental health struggles. By focusing on self-improvement, addressing the “beautiful you,” and being mindful of our actions, true healing and transformation can take place.

Guides and Workbooks

“ Good Vibes, Good Life” by Vex King is a highly recommended self-help book, focusing on personal growth and self-love. This guide will help readers understand the importance of a positive mindset and practicing gratitude. The author provides practical advice on overcoming negative thoughts and establishing a healthier, more fulfilling lifestyle.

For those looking to dig deeper into self-discovery and self-love, a journal or workbook can be a valuable resource. One such workbook, “ Start Where You Are ” by Meera Lee Patel, is designed to help individuals gain insight into their personality and develop mindfulness. Through interactive prompts, creative exercises, and inspiring quotes, readers are encouraged to reflect on their thoughts and emotions in a structured and engaging format.

To effectively incorporate self-love into one’s daily life, it is crucial to practice mindfulness regularly. Cultivating mindfulness helps individuals gain greater self-awareness and self-compassion. By focusing on the present moment, readers can develop a more authentic connection with themselves and discover a deeper understanding of their true potential.

Harnessing the Power of Positive Self-Talk

Positive self-talk is an essential tool to cultivate self-love and foster a healthy mindset. By engaging in positive thinking, individuals can develop better relationships with themselves and improve their overall well-being. This section explores the importance of positive self-talk and recommends books that provide guidance on mastering this life-changing skill.

Regularly practicing positive self-talk can boost self-esteem and reinforce a person’s belief in their abilities. Recognizing one’s strengths and acknowledging personal achievements are important aspects of positive thinking that lead to increased self-love. However, understanding how to harness the power of positive self-talk is crucial to this process. Books such as “ The Power of Positive Thinking ” by Norman Vincent Peale and “ How To Love Yourself Cards ” by Louise Hay offer insights and strategies for turning negative thoughts into positive ones.

These books teach readers how to recognize negative thought patterns and replace them with empowering affirmations. For instance, “You Are a Badass” by Jen Sincero presents practical exercises that help individuals identify limiting beliefs and replace them with more supportive and loving thoughts. Additionally, “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brené Brown provides research-based strategies for embracing one’s authentic self and embracing vulnerability, which are crucial for cultivating self-love.

Incorporating positive self-talk into daily routines can lead to significant improvement in both mental and physical health. Studies have shown that people who practice positive thinking experience lower levels of stress and are better equipped to handle challenging situations. Moreover, the psychological benefits of positive self-talk can also result in improved immunity and increased energy levels.

In conclusion, harnessing the power of positive self-talk is a powerful way to develop self-love and enhance one’s quality of life. The recommended books in this section offer valuable perspectives and practical advice on incorporating positive thinking into daily life. By embracing these techniques, individuals can strengthen their relationship with themselves and cultivate a more loving, accepting mindset.

The Role of Spirituality and Faith in Self-Love

Spirituality and faith play a significant role in the journey of self-love. They provide a sense of purpose, belonging, and connectedness to a higher power or a belief system. This connection can often guide individuals to better understand themselves and cultivate self-love.

A crucial element of nurturing self-love through spirituality is through practices such as meditation and mindfulness. These help individuals tap into their inner self and become more aware of their thoughts, feelings, and emotions. By embracing this awareness, they begin to accept themselves and foster self-compassion.

“ Big Magic “, a book by Elizabeth Gilbert, is an excellent resource for those looking to explore the connection between self-love, spirituality, and creativity. Gilbert discusses the importance of living a creative life and how expressing oneself can lead to a greater sense of self-worth and fulfillment.

Additionally, faith can provide a supportive community that encourages self-love and acceptance. Belonging to a spiritual or religious group may offer a sense of camaraderie and understanding to those on a self-love journey.

In conclusion, spirituality and faith can be powerful tools in developing self-love. By fostering a connection with a higher power or belief system and practicing mindfulness, individuals can cultivate a greater sense of self-worth and fulfillment.

Diverse Views on Self-Love

In today’s world, self-love is highly emphasized and promoted through various channels. With the power of social media, influencers and advocates have shared their journey to self-love, giving their followers a diverse array of perspectives. In this section, we explore books that showcase unique viewpoints on self-love and how they address topics such as diversity, body image, and radical self-love.

Radical Self-Love is a concept that emerged from the idea of embracing one’s flaws and resisting societal expectations. In the book, “The Body Is Not an Apology,” Sonya Renee Taylor unpacks the concept of radical self-love and its importance in recognizing and dismantling harmful discrimination against different body types. This book challenges readers to examine various aspects of their lives, from hair love to personal relationships, and helps them build a healthier relationship with their bodies.

“ Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance ” by Rosie Molinary is another resource on the journey to self-love. This book provides actionable exercises and guidance for readers in areas such as body image, acceptance, and personal power. By breaking down the concept of self-love into daily tasks, Molinary illustrates that lasting change stems from consistently practicing self-love rather than seeking it all at once.

Diversity plays a crucial role in the development of self-love. In the book, “The Gifts of Imperfection,” Brene Brown explores the concept of embracing one’s unique traits and experiences as a source of strength. She emphasizes the importance of living authentically and demonstrates how this leads to a sense of connection and belonging. The book offers valuable insights into how individuals can incorporate self-love principles in various aspects of their lives.

In addition to these books, social media has become a tool for exploring different perspectives on self-love. For example, influencers like Megan Jayne Crabbe and Michelle Elman advocate for body positivity and self-acceptance through their platforms. By engaging with this content, followers can gain exposure to new ideas, perspectives, and experiences regarding self-love in the age of social media.

In summary, the books and resources mentioned above provide readers with diverse perspectives on self-love and its importance in building confidence, embracing uniqueness, and understanding body image. By exploring these viewpoints, individuals can gather valuable insights to aid in their journey towards self-acceptance and self-love.

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Top 10 books about self-love.

books about self love

What does it mean to love yourself? How do you find the balance between loving yourself and coexisting with others? Where do you draw the line?

According to the Brain & Behavior Research Foundation , self-love is about supporting and protecting your physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. It involves valuing and prioritizing yourself, your happiness, and your needs.

However, the journey to follow is different for every person. That is where books can help—they provide a path on a trip you must partake in alone.

Since no two people are the same, there are as many psychology book options as tastes and styles. Nonetheless, the following works all highlight different tools and methods to light the path on your self-love journey.

Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies

by Tara Schuster

Discovering, reclaiming, and redefining self-love does not have to be a daunting task. In fact, it can be a joyous journey where you can learn how to laugh your way into loving your flaws and mistakes alongside your virtues and successes.

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Tara Schuster learnt that lesson the hard way. Her book aims to be the voice she wishes she had during her own journey.

A successful Comedy Central executive and a chronically anxious and self-medicated woman, Schuster went through highs and lows on her path toward self-love. Her book Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is equal parts a memoir and a reminder that you deserve the nice things you like—with a fair share of the comedy she’s known for.

Untamed: Stop Pleasing, Start Living

by Glennon Doyle

Another self-love book that draws from the writer’s personal life, Untamed is a memoir as much as it is a critique of the cultural setbacks that plague women’s journey toward unfettered happiness.

Doyle highlights how societal standards assign women certain roles and expectations, which establishes a set of limitations that—consciously or subconsciously—act as traps for many women seeking something beyond.

Untamed borrows from Doyle’s life experiences and anecdotes to deliver the truth many women need to hear: self-love is only possible when you understand that the shoulds and musts of society are not necessarily marks of true happiness.

Love for Imperfect Things

by Haemin Sunim

Author Haemin Sumin is a Zen Buddhist monk from South Korea, which may predispose readers to believe Love for Imperfect Things is a religious book with complex, philosophical sayings.

Nothing further from the truth.

Love for Imperfect Things is a book that promotes self-love from a gentle and warm angle. Everything on each page encourages peace of mind—from the simple and easy-to-digest words of wisdom to the beautiful and whimsical illustrations.

But at its core, Love for Imperfect Things is what its name indicates—gentle encouragement to accept and embrace the imperfections that make life what it is.

Get Out of Your Own Way

by Mark Goulston, Philip Goldberg

Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior poses one question to readers—what if you are becoming your worst enemy?

Although life poses many challenges to individual goals, Goulston highlights limitations that come from within, particularly self-sabotaging attitudes. Procrastination, self-pity, guilt, and inaction are described as self-defeating habits that stand in the way of self-love and success./p>

Far from claiming to be the solution to deep-rooted habits, the book encourages introspection to discover your self-defeating behavior—and provides tools to inspire action against them.

Make Your Bed: Small Things That Can Change Your Life… And Maybe The World

by William H. McRaven

On May 17, 2014, Admiral William H. McRaven gave a commencement speech at the University of Texas . It went viral within a few days, popularly known as the ‘Make Your Bed’ speech.

Within those 20 minutes, McRaven established ten principles to create positive change within ourselves and the world. He would expand upon these concepts in his book Make Your Bed a year later . 

Intertwining short aphorisms with his Navy SEAL experiences, McRaven establishes ten principles that make small changes—with tremendous consequences. Something as small as making your bed in the morning can induce a sense of accomplishment that will, eventually, prepare you for further success.

Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?

by Julie Smith

Dr. Julie Smith is a clinical psychologist, a best-selling author, and a viral TikTok sensation on mental health.

To expand on topics she discusses in these short videos, Dr. Smith released Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? Her book aims to become the toolkit you need to understand, protect, and fortify your mental well-being.

From addressing the potential physical roots of emotional distress to delivering simple exercises and graphics to solve everyday problems, Dr. Smith’s straightforward book understands that self-love blossoms in a healthy mind.

You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life

by Jen Sincero

Direct, to the point, and very no-nonsense. Jen Sincero’s writing is reminiscent of a courageous and bold best friend, giving you the advice you need to change your life.

You Are a Badass is a book that focuses on a central idea: your actions and circumstances result from your deep-seated beliefs, sitting in your subconsciousness. As such, you will become the titular “badass” once you challenge your false subconscious beliefs with conscious actions and embrace what makes you unique.

by Ruby Dhal

Rising from the depths of Instagram comes Ruby Dhal, a British-Afghan writer with a penchant for poetry and a talent for speaking to her audience’s soul.

Dear Self , published in 2020, is paradoxically her longest book and a “bite-sized” work. It is divided into four macro-chapters—Self-Love, Heartbreak, Love, and Healing—containing micro-sections discussing various situations, circumstances, and topics.

Lauded for her beautiful writing and ability to resonate with deeply personal circumstances, Dhal’s Dear Self feels like the gentle words of your inner self.

The Mountain Is You

by Brianna Wiest

With The Mountain Is You , Brianna Wiest highlights the role that self-sabotaging behavior plays as an obstacle to self-love and fulfillment.

Self-sabotage, she argues, is the byproduct of conflicting needs between your consciousness and subconsciousness. Subsequently, you can only overcome the obstacle by finding its root cause and, subsequently, grow comfortable with the idea of change.

Setting aside external influences and problems, Wiest poses that one of the biggest setbacks in life comes from within—in short, you are the mountain you need to climb.

Good Vibes, Good Life

by Vex King

Vex King’s Good Vibes, Good Life is a book highlighting the importance of positive thinking for self-love and consolidating one’s goals. However, it does not fall into the all-too-common toxic positivity trap.

Instead, King recognizes that positive thinking is often the key to manifesting positive results, yet it is only the first step in the journey. As an often-quoted line from the book says, “self-love is the balance between accepting yourself as you are while knowing you deserve better and then working towards it.”

Overall, the book’s philosophy is that emotions and thoughts profoundly affect reality. Subsequently, developing a healthy emotional profile is the mandatory starting point for achieving concrete results.

Self-Love is a Common Goal in an Individual Journey

Although a healthy approach to self-love is the ideal mindset for all humanity, this shared goal has infinite roads. Everyone must partake in the journey alone, and the method that may work for someone could be challenging for someone else.

The aforementioned books offer many approaches to developing your inner self. At least one is bound to provide tips that adjust to your beliefs, lifestyle, and thought patterns.

The good news? You can find all these books through BookScouter.com , across over 20+ online booksellers. All you need is the ISBN , name, or author; the search engine will show all offers to buy books at the best price so you can instantly immerse into a self-love guide with no harm to your wallet.

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Elbana Bellorín

Elbana is a Venezuelan Magna Cum Laude graduate with a B.Sc. in International Affairs and a Master’s in International Law and Politics. With an academic affinity for grounded non-fiction and a heartfelt personal love for creative fiction, her intellectual pursuits and writing projects seek to conciliate both.

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9 Feel-Good Books That Celebrate Non-Romantic Love

books about self love

By Christine Pride

9 Books About Love That Have Nothing to Do With Romantic Relationships

I’ve been single for roughly 97% of the 46 Valentine’s Days I’ve been on earth, which is probably why I have something of a love/hate attitude about the holiday. On one hand, I’m prone to railing against its manufactured nature and the fact that it seems to be designed to test relationships and make people who aren’t in them feel alone. But I’m also a hopeless romantic who can get behind a holiday that, despite its  disturbing origins , is one day out of the year we can devote to celebrating the grand, sweeping, glorious force that is love. If there ever was something worthy of celebration, it’s that.

The problem, I think, is limiting the Valentine’s Day focus solely to romantic love and the traditional (and tired) cis boy and girl, chocolate and roses, meet-cute and happily-ever-after clichés that typically define the holiday. There’s nothing wrong with giving your partner some truffles or queueing up a  romantic comedy on February 14, but we could also think more expansively. There are, after all, so many different types of love worth acknowledging and celebrating this Valentine’s Day.

Here are my recommendations for books that showcase a range of passions—like  food , friendship, and even clothes. Whether you’re partnered up or not, I hope at least one of these picks speaks to your heart and reminds you that love takes many splendid forms.

All products featured on SELF are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

The Colossus of New York by Colson Whitehead

The Colossus of New York, by Colson Whitehead

Can you be in love with a city? I think so, and New York City is one of those places that has inspired many literary love letters. My own love affair with NYC started when I moved here in 2000, a few years before National Book Award and Pulitzer Prize winner Colson Whitehead’s beautiful book about the city was published. In a series of 13 essays, Whitehead takes readers on a tour of iconic landmarks and undiscovered corners, all while paying tribute to the intangible, indelible charge and charm of the metropolis. Of course he’s not the only legendary author to fawn over New York City; others like  E.B. White and  Joan Didion offered similar ardor. Nor is New York the only place to inspire such writerly passions— Paris ,  Istanbul , and  Italy , for example, have been the subjects of lush love affairs on the page. All of these stories are reminders that we can engage a place as we do a lover—embracing its maddening idiosyncrasies, basking in its particular allure, and learning all of its history and hidden secrets. These are books to feed and satisfy your (wander)lust.

We All Want Impossible Things by Catherine Newman

We All Want Impossible Things, by Catherine Newman

Some of the greatest love stories of my own life have been  friendships , and I’m a sucker for any book that captures the complexity, beauty, deep commitment, and particular fierceness of female friendships—especially long-term ones. You might need tissues for this novel by Catherine Newman, but it’s an incredibly poignant (and funny!) story about best friends who have been there for each other for every part of each other’s lives, from summer camp to weddings, and every consequential milestone—even death. For a  true  story about an indelible friendship (though one that’s equally sad; what can I say, I love a tearjerker), I also highly recommend Gail Caldwell’s memoir  Let’s Take the Long Way Home , a piercing exploration of the power platonic soulmates have to literally change our lives. Both books will make you feel big feelings, and might inspire you to  call your bestie and ask them to be your Valentine.

Aphrodite Isabel by Allende

Aphrodite: A Memoir of the Senses, by Allende

Some days, I think French fries are the true object of my heart’s deepest desire, so I can certainly understand feeling intense passion about food. This memoir by best-selling author Isabel Allende is a one of a kind blend of history, personal experience, mythology, and erotic lore that combine to offer a feast for the senses and the mind. They call it food porn for a reason: This one will titillate your taste buds, expand your knowledge of culinary aphrodisiacs, and perhaps inspire a delectable Valentine’s Day feast.

H is for Hawk by Helen MacDonald

H is for Hawk, by Helen MacDonald

No question, we Americans have a love affair with our animals. Their companionship and cuddles and warmth can rival that of any human lover, especially when you consider you’ll never have to argue about the dishes. Closeness with an animal is one of the purest and most  potent connections we can have with another living being—and there are many terrific classic books that capture this special bond. Helen McDonald’s memoir stands out for me because I love the unlikely pairing; we don’t often think of feeling warm and fuzzy towards a…large bird of prey. But that’s exactly what develops between Helen and her feathered compatriot, Mabel. You may not be able to curl up with a hawk, but you can with this lovely book and be immersed in a beautiful reminder of the fact that animals can be our salve and saviors.

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We Asked 13 People What Finally Helped Them Get Over a Bad Breakup

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Superfan by George Dorhmann

Superfans: Into the Heart of Obsessive Sports Fandom, by George Dorhmann

My boyfriend loves the Dallas Cowboys more than he loves me—or, at least, it feels that way on Sundays. But such is the nature of true fandom—it’s as fervent, loyal, and inexplicable as romantic love. In  Superfan, Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist George Dorhmann turns his attention to this phenomenon and its psychological and sociological dimensions. The result is an entertaining, well-researched rabbit hole that endeavors to make sense of the irrationally intense feelings we get for the objects of our (sports) affection. It’s fitting because the Superbowl is just days before Valentine’s Day this year—arguably, for many of us, that will be an even bigger holiday, involving more intense displays of passion (and  heartbreak ) than V-Day itself.

Dressed in Dreams A Black Girls Love Letter To Fashion by Tanisha Ford

Dressed in Dreams: A Black Girls Love Letter To Fashion, by Tanisha Ford

When I was six, I had a blue dress with white polka dots that I was  obsessed with. The day I couldn’t fit into it anymore and my mom added it to a pile of clothes bound for Goodwill had all the contours (read: tears) of an actual breakup. We can fall hard for clothes (or decor, or other inanimate objects)—not just as objects, but for how they make us feel (sexy, empowered, confident) and what they represent to us. Clothes can be powerful talismans of our pasts and conjure a place and time as readily and as vividly as a picture. In Tanisha Ford’s memoir, she highlights different pieces of clothing and what they mean to her and for her culture, exploring them as pathways to her dreams and sense of identity. It’s a tribute to the fact that, yes, we love people, but we also love  things.

Things We Love by Aaron Ahuvia

The Things We Love: How Our Passions Connect Us and Make Us Who We Are, by Aaron Ahuvia

Speaking of the things we love…this fun book dives into  why we love them. Using the lens of marketing, behavioral science, and psychology, it explores fascinating questions:  How does our love of people compare with our love of things? Why do we love certain things and not others? What’s the difference between loving something and just thinking it’s really great? Sometimes our material attachments are fleeting, and other times they turn dark and consuming, but, in any case, the emotional ties are real and tangibly affect our lives, for better or worse. If, like me, you love books that explore the science behind how the world and our minds work, this digestible and engaging work by Aaron Ahuvia hits the spot.

Hard to Love by Brianlen Hoppre

Hard to Love: Essays and Confessions, by Brianlen Hoppre

In this essay collection, Brianlen Hopper sets out to celebrate all the iterations of community and connection that  aren’t  romantic and too often feel secondary—relationships with siblings, with caregivers, with chosen family, with the stranger who brightens your day. Whether you have romantic love this Valentine’s Day or not, it’s still a good opportunity to cherish the  other important bonds in your life—all the “underappreciated intimacies,” as Hopper writes—and to be grateful for them.

The SelfLove Experiment Fifteen Principles for Becoming More Kind Compassionate and Accepting of Yourself by Shannon Kaiser

The Self-Love Experiment: Fifteen Principles for Becoming More Kind, Compassionate, and Accepting of Yourself, by Shannon Kaiser

What Valentine’s Day book list would be complete without considering the most important love of all— self-love ? We’ve all heard the advice and adages about needing to love the person we see in the mirror before we can love anyone else, but we also know that self-kindness and self-compassion can be easier said than cultivated. Thus the legions of self-help books out there to give us a hand in the self-worth department. The particular appeal of  The Self-Love Experiment, alongside its exceedingly warm and relatable tone, is its hands-on and practical approach: It offers 15 clear principles that can help you learn to stifle the negative voice in your head and create the “kind of love story where you become your own hero,” as author Shannon Kaiser writers. This book would make a great gift to yourself this Valentine’s Day, because, ultimately, it’s about honoring the most important and longest relationship you’ll ever have—the one with yourself.

books about self love

SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.

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View The Tragedy of Pure Love by Nicholas Camarena

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The tragedy of pure love.

by Nicholas Camarena

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About the Book

Features & details.

  • Category Literary Fiction
  • Project Option: 5×8 in, 13×20 cm # of Pages: 210
  • Publish Date: Nov 29, 2023
  • Language English
  • Tags The Tragedy of Pure Love , Nicholas Camarena

About the Creator


Nicholas Camarena also known as “The Octopus” was an American fiction author, artist, martial artist and musician from Fresno California. [Fiction Writing] He has authored several short stories, novelettes and novellas. He has also authored “dark poetry” - many times being self-deprecating as he struggled through many emotional and physical problems in 2018. Including being diagnosed with the oddity of P.B.A. His fictional pieces, however, span a wide-range of genres. From Drama, Romance, Horror, and even a tween series called “Keep an eye out for Raspberry”. Much has said the sporadic nature of his fitful personality can be found in his literature style. Works about sexual behavior, works of encouraging romance, to pieces of attempts at thought provoking horror and science fiction tales. “I write as I live. I am not afraid to walk through any door of creativity when it opens up in my mind's eye. Once an idea happens I have to follow the protagonist in their world - not in mine."


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Improving relationships is hard. A couples therapist recommends these books.

These texts are full of wisdom and insight into contemporary relationships.

There are a small number of relationship self-help books I recommend to clients on occasion, when it feels like a text might be helpful. The ones I like are the ones that do, in written form, a version of what good therapists do in the room with clients, which is to iteratively experiment with language to see which formulations resonate best. The idea is to frame and reframe the same basic ideas in different ways, expecting that most will fail to penetrate but a few will lever someone open, an inch or two at a time, creating the space for positive change.

This kind of experimentation is necessary, because the human brain is brilliant at erecting defenses and then holding on to them for dear life. A strong relationship with a good therapist can be the best predictor of therapeutic success, but even with that, we all have a tendency to make the same self-sabotaging mistakes again and again (and again). And even our therapeutic successes are typically subtle and not particularly gratifying. Real change is extraordinarily hard, particularly when the distressed equilibrium is between two imperfect people, as it is in couples therapy. It’s impossible for anyone trying to help us to know in advance what insight, story, analogy or phrase might sneak through to help us grow.

For this reason, there’s not a right relationship book, full stop, for everyone. What can sometimes be the case, however, is that there is a right one for you right now. It might be in the form of a chapter here and there. It might be nothing you can use right now, but a single phrase that lodges in your brain and then silently germinates for months or years before finally blooming when the conditions are right. None are the answer to all your problems, but the best offer ideas, language, metaphors and stories that may be of use.

I wish I could give you a simple algorithm for which book or author is most likely to prove helpful to you but I can’t. I don’t know you like I know my clients, and these books don’t know you either. The following books, however, are ones that I have found helpful in my practice:

Psychologist Sue Johnson’s “Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” is oriented around two ideas. One is that most of us have the same fights, over and over again, and most of those fights follow a few basic universal patterns. The second idea is that beneath the explicit content of these fights — money, sex, in-laws, jealousy, failing to put down the toilet seat — are dances of wounded or failed attachment. We’re fighting because we’re deeply dependent on our partner for safety, reassurance and nurturing, and we’re terrible at admitting that to ourselves and at lovingly seeking it out.

Gary Chapman’s premise in “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” is that while most of us are trying, most of the time, to give and receive love from each other, too often we’re broadcasting and receiving on fundamentally different frequencies. “Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English,” he writes. “No matter how hard you try to express love in English, if your spouse understands only Chinese, you will never understand how to love each other.” We will never be native speakers of our partner’s language, but with hard work and compassion we can achieve enough proficiency to make a marriage flourish.

For therapist Terrence Real, author of “Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship,” we flourish in relationships only when we operate relationally, as an interdependent “us.” When there is conflict, and there will always be conflict, the question in a high-functioning relationship can’t be who is right or wrong, or what is true. It is: What is best for the relationship? Almost everything else, including notions of truth and objective reality, is irrelevant and dispensable. “Functional actions in a relationship are moves that empower your partner to come through for you,” he writes. “Dysfunctional actions are those that render your partner paralyzed.”

This is easier said than done, of course, and much of the advice in these books is intended to incrementally diminish and dislodge the reactive tendencies that take over, in most of us, when we are in conflict with our partner. Real, for instance, spends a great deal of time in both “Us” and his prior book, “The New Rules of Marriage,” trying to help readers envision how they might constructively raise issues with their partner. He recommends the use of the “feedback wheel,” which is a highly structured series of steps for converting what could be the destructive venting of a complaint into a loving and pragmatic request for present or future action.

John Gottman, the godfather of modern couples therapy research, tends to focus more on draining conflict of its destructive energy by altering the context in which it occurs, in particular by building up our reservoirs of love and positive affection. The more we can make deposits in our “emotional bank account,” he argues, the less our relationships will be ruled by how we (inevitably) disappoint each other. To this end, Gottman writes in “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,” it is essential that we enrich our “love maps,” our detailed and intimate knowledge of our partners — their hopes, dreams, fears, favorite foods, most potent childhood memories, feelings about friends and families, favorite movies, etc. “Without such a love map,” Gottman writes, “you can’t really know your spouse. And if you don’t really know someone, how can you truly love them?”

In books like “Wired for Love” and “In Each Other’s Care,” psychologist Stan Tatkin is particularly good at evoking the frightening intensity of what it feels like to be triggered by our partners, the sudden neuronal cascades of fear, anger and hurt that can suddenly take us out of our mature selves and deposit our psyches somewhere between early childhood and primeval animality. The goal when it comes to couples, for Tatkin, is that we nudge our brains to the point where we can share a healthy “couple bubble … the mutually constructed membrane, cocoon, or womb that holds a couple together and protects each partner from outside elements.” Many of the exercises he prescribes — like developing a customized “bubble trouble meter” to help identify when your bubble is starting to fray — are aimed at better aligning our bodies and brains to each other, bringing them into a neurobiological harmony that reinforces the couple bubble.

Two things are simultaneously true of all these relationships books. They are humane texts, full of wisdom and insight into contemporary relationships. And they are very hard to integrate, because (as mentioned) it’s really hard to change. If you spent the next year closely reading each of these relationship books, and practicing in good faith the exercises they recommend, it would have an enormously positive impact on your relationship. But let’s be honest. In all likelihood you wouldn’t be able to follow the full program for one of these books, much less all of them. My husband and I have failed to do it ourselves, and I’m an experienced couples therapist. We’re even writing a book together on relationships and couples therapy.

The very act of reading one of these books, however, and attempting to implement the changes it recommends, is a way of prioritizing your relationship, taking responsibility for caring better for your partner, and committing to your own emotional growth in a way that isn’t selfish. There are no guarantees that this will save or even improve your relationship. But it is an honorable endeavor. And what else is there to do?

Jessica Grogan is a couples therapist in Austin, and the author of “Encountering America: Humanistic Psychology, Sixties Culture, and the Shaping of the Modern Self.”

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

books about self love

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  • ✨ IGNITE YOUR CREATIVITY - Visualize a tranquil moment, tucked away in your favorite spot, losing yourself in a world of vibrant colors and peaceful illustrations. This is the calming experience our adult coloring book invites you to. But it offers more than just a creative outlet. It blends 29 meticulously crafted designs with compelling affirmations, creating an immersive experience that nurtures self-love and mindfulness.
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  • 🌈 EMBRACE DIVERSITY IN DESIGN - Our Self-Love Affirmations Coloring Book offers a rich variety of patterns and themes, each reflecting the many facets of self-love and positivity. Whether you're in the mood for a quick, uplifting session or an in-depth exploration of self-affection, there’s a design to suit your needs. This book is a celebration of diversity and individuality, encouraging you to express yourself freely and embrace your unique journey of self-love.

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KTXL-TV Sacramento

KTXL-TV Sacramento

Jada Pinkett Smith book tour coming to Sacramento

Posted: November 29, 2023 | Last updated: November 29, 2023

(FOX40.COM) — Jada Pinkett Smith is coming to Sacramento to talk about her new book, “Worthy.”

Pinkett Smith is known for being an actress and her role as wife to the actor, Will Smith.

Her memoir, “Worthy” is an invitation to join her adventure in search of love and self-worth, according to a press release. During the in-person event, Pinkett Smith will tell her life story in an “intimate conversation with readers.”

Pinkett Smith is expected to share her journey from a “challenging childhood in Baltimore,” Maryland to her “controversial life in Hollywood.” She also plans to talk about her marriage and her family.

The book tour stop will be from 12:30-1:30 p.m. on Dec. 3 at the Guild Theater, 2828 35th Street, Sacramento. For tickets visit www.eventbrite.com . Every ticket to this event reportedly includes a copy of “Worthy.”

For the latest news, weather, sports, and streaming video, head to FOX40.

Jada Pinkett Smith book tour coming to Sacramento

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